Featured Guest Writer(s): Grammar Nazi
New guest author; very strange opinion.
Okay, there’s been a problem. I have the entirety of the text of Elliott’s feature, but I lack the artwork. So it’s going to be delayed for a few hours, but it will still be posted as a July 30th feature.
You’ve got just a little bit longer to wait for Elliott’s feature. Fear not, I promised it would be online, and I am not a liar. Until then, I’m going to discuss some current events. Osama bin Laden may be dead. Whee. Australia may…or may not …have successfully tested a scram jet today. If they did, it will be astounding news, but I can’t help but think that you’re performing tests a bit wrong if you can’t tell if the damned thing is successful or not. And finally, what is with these damned pilot whales (big dolphins) in Massachussets? Some of them beaching themselves three freaking times. They finally had to kill them. I’m always amazed when this happens at all. The leading theory for why whales/dolphins strand themselves is because the leader gets disoriented and leads them all to shore. Now, these are highly intelligent creatures with advanced communication skills. I’m sure it’s possible for a whale to get lost or confused, just like us humans can, but I find it hard to believe that there is nothing in whale/dolphin speak for “Yo Earl, ocean’s that way buddy!” It just seems hard to believe than a creature so intelligent would be lead to its death so willing. Or, even if it happens once, beach itself three times in two days. My personal theory is that life in the ocean is pretty damn boring, so occassionally these animals get sick of it and try to commit mass suicide. Strangely, another human habit .
I’m back again, if only for a moment. All this full-time 40-60 hour/week work is starting to drain me. I will rejoice when college starts back up again and I can have some free time for once (if that makes any kind of sense, :P). In other news, Elliott’s new feature goes online tomorrow. Oh, and just so you know, we all know that Tails was a fox, but decided to let Athena use artistic license on this one…kinda, *grin*. Anyway, I have whipped up another wholesome and delicious 7-pack of commentary to fill the gaps in from the last batch of features. Speaking of features, I never did get to finish the one I’m working on. I am not a lying bastard for I never promised I would have it done on any date, just that I would be working on it. Nonetheless, you will have your meat! Please be patient; I haven’t been able to slack off as much as I used to. I’ve been working at my job as well as renovating the guest house out back, and consequently have less time for working on features. Don’t hurt me…please? :D
Athena Falconess’s Sonic versus Mario feature is now online. Before you go feast on that, I have a little story to tell. Apparently, my two weeks of hell got noticed by the mythical woman that is our Library director, because I walked into work tonight to be greeted by an unexpected, spontaneous and retroactive raise. This is the third such pay raise I’ve recieved since working there just over a year (I work for the county government. Try to figure out how rare that is.), but I at least had some inkling that the others were coming. This was just…random. Well, my NES is calling me, so I’ll be off. This turned out to be a decent day afterall. How strange.
Come on, you knew we were going to drag this argument out of retirement.
Since Super Mario Week is going to be somewhere around 8 days long, today isn’t going to have feature, as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. Since most of our Mario features are going to be either longer or just more complex than what we usually do, I hope this doesn’t bother you too much. And an aside to Lauren: Why is it the second I regain free time, you’re never online?
So, are you quivering in anticipation as to what awaits you today in Super Mario Week? No? Well, that’s certainly mean spirited. You should be drug behind a convience store and shot. At any rate, surfing random web comics, I stumbled across this particular one that fits me so much like a glove I just thought I’d share. As most of you know, I’m a writer. This website exists partially so I can vent my “wacky” side somewhere. While I think it works out well, and can be quite funny, it really doesn’t show off my skills as a creator of fiction. Almost everything I write otherwise is deadly serious. Sure, there’s some of my trademark humour built in to the style, but if it leaves you laughing at the end, then I haven’t done my job well. Most people who have read some of my stuff can attest to this. I might even toss a bit of it online just to serve as juxaposition between what I write here, and what my “real” writing is. You might be more suprised than you think. Hell, I think it’d be worth it to put something online, copyright worries be damned, just to allow you people to experience a “Graeme Ending”. Perhaps the single most distinctive thing about my style. We’ll see what I can do. I didn’t mean to ramble so overlong here, I suppose I’ll go back to lurking in the GameSpot forums and reading web comics now. No one else is alive at 10:00 am on a Sunday. Well, other than Zen, but he’s doing that whole “Sabbath on the wrong day” thing.
Hey, look up. What does that say? Correct, it is Super Mario Week here at the Jux Entente! In anticipation of Sunshine’s release a month from now, all of our features this week are going to have a Mario theme. Athena Falconess is working on the ubiquitous Sonic vs. Mario feature. Kitty is “thinking of something”, and I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. Not only that, but our good pal Elliott from Spelling the Vacuum is going to whip something up for the celebration. I hope you enjoy this, the first, and I get the feeling not the last, theme week in Jux Entente history.
