I’m calling the shots for once. I write my own subtext, even if I have to hack to do it.
So, I’ve been somewhat silent.
Ok, I’ve been quite silent. Those of you who regularly frequent this humble site might notice that I haven’t been releasing as many features as I used to. In fact, it’s come to a screeching halt.
So why would I deprive you, our faithful subscribers, my regular contributions to the site?
I suppose it’s a little bit of head play, and a lot of simple unadulterated indignation.
Now, don’t get me wrong, my original intent here wasn’t to write a rant, in fact I was just going to post the gallery below as a bit of disgruntled satire.
Well, I may have surprised us both.
The truth of the matter is, I haven’t felt like the site represents who the Entente is…. but then again, perhaps it reflects it so precisely that it unnerves me. In the past few hours, I have been thinking–thinking about what this was meant to be, and what it has become. I suppose I should get with the explaining:
As some of you may or may not know, this site originally spawned from a web page dedicated to our activity in a game called Ragnarok Online. After having it for a while, we got a taste of what it would be like to have our own website, a creative outlet for all three of us (Myself, Kenny, and Graeme), a positive forum where we could post our rants and ideas, and have an enjoyable time doing it. The prospect of such a thing was exciting to say the least. So we plunged headfirst into it, and now you’re looking at our creation.
At first, it was great. I mean, it really kicked ass, it was great to have something globally accessible that I could be recognized for. I knew from the start that I would not be able to contribute as much content as everyone else does because I have a full-time job, a full-time education, and a full-time girlfriend and family. I didn’t think it would make that much of a difference, because what I lacked in quantity, I always tried to make up for in quality. And I hope from what you have seen of my features that you agree with me on this point.
And here’s where the rant starts warming up.
I was reading over all the news posts and features, and I asked myself What kind of people do our audience see us as?” My family, my friends, and many complete strangers read this site, some quite regularly. To answer this question, I scoured the content of the site, and I realized something: Some members are “more equal than” others, to borrow from Orwell. Now, like I said, my family and friends read this site, and I would show them my features when I found time to finish them.
At first, I would tell everyone I knew about the site, and encourage him or her to come and check it out; however, I suddenly stopped doing that. In fact, I felt uncomfortable contributing to the site at all because I did not feel as welcome to contribute as I once did. I worked hard on some good content, all the while being browbeaten or subtly mocked in a way that I felt, and still feel to be not in the spirit of good natured fun, or encouragement.
At first I took it with a grain of salt. I mean, everyone gets a good ribbing now and then, and it’s all in good sport. And there’s a certain vibe you get from such things; you can detect the sincerity in it. I was not getting this vibe. In fact, I seemed to be the only one whom this was directed at. When others could not contribute, they were described as being “retired” or “on vacation”, but the moment I could not follow something to the letter, I was an unreliable, “jilting bastard” and, of course, our (yes, our ) readers must be made to understand this. And when I did complete a feature, I worked especially hard to ensure the quality of the work so that I could prove wrong the persecution mounting against me.
Understandably, this kind of induced perfectionism was not healthy for my fun-loving creative side, and it really wasn’t worth the trouble to work on redeeming myself when we were all supposed to be equals here anyway, and I started to feel like the proverbial redheaded stepchild on certain occasions. I did not feel that I was getting the respect that I deserved, and as recent events reveal, you can see that this is still the case.
Now I’m trying to be courteously vague as to the party my complaint is directed towards, but I think I can only do this to an extent before I begin casting doubts on members who have kept the spirit of the site alive, and have been providing a fun, encouraging environment. So I will state the fact that every one of the quotes in the gallery comes from a single person. I think that is all I really need to say as far as that goes.
Yes, I have a problem, but its not with you, and perhaps it can be remedied in some way, but the damage is done, the ink is on the paper, and I’m really not sure where things stand anymore. Does your friend berate you, and question your intelligence because of what you believe in? Should what you believe in make a significant difference in how you are treated in a friendship? Does a friend who you told a troubling and shameful incident years ago (which you thought you had revealed in confidence) bring it back up again as if it were small talk at social gatherings you attend? These questions trouble me. They would trouble anyone.
I’ve compiled the gallery below as a collection of what I feel is simply uncalled for on a website that is supposedly a collaborative effort of friends. Now, I will admit that if you take any one of these statements, and have it stand alone as a one time event (with a few noted exceptions that dance with being blatantly and caustically insulting), it would not be that big of a deal. However, it is the environment and the continued feeling that I am getting from the site that worries me. Keep in mind that this is just a small tip of an old iceberg. I have a lot more to say about this whole thing but I don’t feel like getting into it right now because I like you, and I’ve most likely bored you enough with this rant; so, without further adieu, I present to you what anyone who reads this site will inevitably come across, and perhaps believe as fact. Do you?
Begin Gallery:
“I’ve got Zen working on his bio at whip point, and both he and Kitty are being pressured into actually creating something for the site soon.”
[That insolent trog! Bring out the Cat-O-Nines.]
“Well, guess what! Check out our features page for brand-new, tender features from Kitty Vertigo and myself! Still no bio for Zen, though. Damn his lazy ass.”
[Here lies the fate of those who delay biographies in the slightest: damnation! So remember, your job and school are not important, your eternal life is being judged here!]
“Later on tomorrow I’m probably going to update the Jux Store with Zen’s new Cabbage Power shirt, and I’m thinking about adding mouse pads. Not that we’re moving too much merchandise as it is, mind, just more because I’m bored. We have sold two Gurk! mugs, which astounds me.”
[Say, what ever happened to my shirt?... Also, are there any Zen or Kitty merchandise in the store currently? Hmm...]
“Of note is the fact that in the news post he wants up here, Zen mentions how his title images take longer than his features. This should be a hint as to why the rest of us don’t do them.”
[Or it might be that my title images are my form of artistic expression, and thus need more effort. But hey, why waste time on things like that, the 'rest of us' wouldn't even dare think of such a thing. It's just unheard of.]
“Zen has also promised me that he will finish his feature tonight, although I’ve heard that one before.”
[Yes, that unreliable cur.]
“No one is quite sure if Zen is actually going to finish one or not; there’s no way of telling.”
[Yes, I am SO the mystery of today's modern society.]
“I’ll see if I can light a fire under Zen’s ass later.”
[Yes, oh taskmaster.]
“Zen’s promised to finish his new feature tonight, so unless he’s lying scum, I’ll do my rant then, or sometime soon after.”
[Delightfully refreshing.]
“Don’t worry folks, I’m going to grab Zen’s ear and twist it like a school boy’s until he apologizes to all of you for not doing his Mario feature today. Jilting bastard.”
[Yes mommy dearest.]
“I’ll finish the feature when Zen finishes the exams. If he does.”
[Of course, for what man knows the will of Zen? I said I would finish it, and I did.]
“To clarify Zen’s post, he is busy. That just makes him the busy, lazy, shiftless bastard he’s made out to be!”
[Horse, deceased; kick until mushy.]
NowFeaturing…
[No explanation needed.]
“This one is pretty self explanatory. Travis has to be skewed to the spiritual over mental (logical, reasonable) intelligence side, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to pull the extreme score he did on Quiz #1 earlier. Whether or not this is a good sacrifice is up to you.”
[I'm not quite sure what the motivation for this statement was. According to this, I must be deficient in logic, reason, and intelligence. Speaking of logic, can you find any here?]
“Travis is the only organized religious person here, and it shows. It’s obvious he’s a neophyte Christian.”
[So what?]
