Depressing.

This feels like…an overwhelming panic attack. I had a dream last night. It was perhaps the most unique reverse nightmare* that I’ve ever had. For once the world I envisioned wasn’t some sort of strange utopia. But that’s what made it so scary. It was real. I could feel it. It lasted only a few hours, but I was there, and it pulsed in my head, driving me insane.

It’s still true that I made a mistake. But it wasn’t the one I thought I made. My brain, my psyche, that wonderful organ that allows me to accomplish so much…fooled itself. Its perfect image was wrong. My heart knew, and saved me briefly. Now I’m up to speed. The reformation might not be finished, but it’s progressed far enough for me to see the gapped teeth and rotting flesh that was my mind’s apple. Its perfection. I would like to say it won’t happen again, but it wasn’t supposed to happen the first time.

I don’t know you. All I have is this empathy. I don’t suppose it matters if it’s real, it’s given me back something I had lost. That something…a delicious piece both corrupting and glorifying. But it’s me.

So much wasted time.

Wouldn’t it be funny if I kept my promise? If I was able to keep my promise? Such an ironic twist of fate that would be.

Perfection is ugly. The feature here…hideous. That person would drive me nuts. That person has brought me to the edge of sanity.

Here I am.

Your flaws are beautiful.

…are mine?