Don’t worry folks, he’s lying.
Martian: Hello, Kitten.
Kitty: Kitten?
Martian: Yeah, I wouldve gotten sued for saying Kitty.
Kitty: Well that is not happy.
Martian: You know what really isnt happy? Christmas isnt happy.
Kitty: But I like Christmas. It is fun.
Martian: Actually, you dont like Christmas.
Kitty: Meow? I am pretty sure I do.
Martian: Do you know where Christmas comes from?
Kitty: Yuppers! A long long time ago, about 2000 years, Jesus Christ was born. Then he did some stuff that made him special. Because he was such a special person we celebrate the day he was born on, even though it was 2000 years ago.
Martian: Precisely. But do you know the special things that he did? He claimed to be the son of God! What would you do if someone approached you and said I am the son of God!?
Kitty: I would run and climb the nearest tree. Crazy people are scarey.
Martian: They indubitably are. How do you know Jesus wasnt crazy? Is it because people believed him? People believed that he was the son of God? What if I had 50 people who would tell you that I am the son of God? Would you believe all of them?
Kitty: Uhmmm
I dont think so. I would probably think that you are all crazy.
Martian: Well, I am not here to dis religion or Jesus or God. I am just pointing out that it is silly to celebrate the birth of a possibly insane man that occurred over 2000 years ago.
Kitty: Well take away Jesus then. We can still have Christmas without Jesus.
Martian: Ok. Christmas Christ = Xmas. It is the non-religious version of Christmas. But Xmas sounds stupid so I will continue to refer to it as Christmas, even though it should be assumed from here on the Christmas is not Christ related.
Kitty: Ok, Christmas is a fun happy time.
Martian: Oh yes. Did you get happy presents for Christmas?
Kitty: Dude! Christmas still isnt for a few days.
Martian: I know that, but you are supposed to be pretending with me.
Kitty: Oh yeah! I forgot. Sorry bout that. Well
Uhm
YEAH!!!! I got really cool presents. This one really hot girl got me a toy mouse so I can chase it around. And this other hot girl got me a cool tree that I can climb. I only get presents from hot girls.
Martian: Wow
those sound like expensive gifts.
Kitty: Yeah, I only get presents from hot rich girls. Those are the best kind.
Especially if they are hot.
Martian: Yes. I would agree with that, however the point I was trying to make involves not the girls, but the presents. What did you get for Christmas? That question implies that the sole purpose of Christmas is for receiving gifts.
Kitty: But
But
There are two ends. In order for a gift to be received, it also has to be given.
Martian: Very true. Do you know where most gifts come from?
Kitty: Santa?
Martian: Kitty, Santa doesnt exist.
Kitty: He doesnt? Where do the presents all come from then?
Martian: The presents you receive come from large corporations. Dont you watch TV? Dont you surf the internet? Do you not see all of the advertisements stating, This would be the PERFECT gift for the family Kitty!?
Kitty: Wow! They know what I want?
Martian: No. They just use that to trick people into buying stuff. They are greedy. Christmas is about greed.
Kitty: Greed? Isnt that a bad thing?
Martian: My little Kitty, It is indeed one of the worst things in existence.
Kitty: So Christmas is a bad thing?
Martian: Well, not all of it is bad. Its origin is wrong. The greed that people feel is wrong. I am not blaming the greed on Christmas. Christmas is just something that Greedy people take advantage of.
Kitty: Yes, but what is happy about Christmas?
Martian: The Happy thing about Christmas is the Happiness.
Kitty: Happiness is happy.
Martian: The entire point of Christmas should be to have fun and to enjoy being
with your family and friends.
Kitty: What about people that are too busy to spend time with their family and friends?
Martian: Those people suck.
Kitty: Meow. I am going to spend this Christmas with you Marty.
Martian: If you call me Marty one more time I will kill you.
Kitty: Merry Christmas everyone!
Martian: Merry Christmas!
Kitty: Lets go, Marty.
*Martian chases Kitty as he pounces away*
