Sex, Maggots, and much, much more….

Well, I broke a promise to myself. I set foot on the campus of McEachern High School almost exactly 2 years after I graduated. It was uneventful. I didn’t bump into anyone I knew and I was able to ignore the fact that most of the graduating class’s last names were unsettlingly familiar (did everyone in the fucking class of 2001 have a younger bro or sis who was 2 years younger?) Anyway, I only went becasue I promised Chelsea (my 12 year old sis) I’d take her to see our cousin Cydney graduate. I thought some of our conversations were funnier so I’m going to share them with you wonderful people.

Okay, this one convinced me that Chelsea was growing up a little too fast.

Athena: Damn, I hope I don’t bump into anyone I know. I just want to get in, get out, and go home.
Chelsea: Oh, did you sleep with someone’s daughter?
Athena: (slightly taken aback) What?!?! No!!! I haven’t slept with anyone. The only person I came close with was that girl and she would be at least 25 by now.
Chelsea: Okay, so you’ve dated a 15 year old and a 25 year old. Do you plan to stick to one generation any time soon?
Athena: (cringes) ….bite me.

Now Chelsea and I are sneaking off campus in the middle of the graduation because the people we came to see graduate have done their little walk across the stage.

Chelsea: I can’t believe you’re having me sneak off campus in the middle of the graduation.
Athena: Hey, I’m at my old high school. I thought I’d reminisce by doing some old habits. You’re just lucky I’m not smoking a joint and doing a few shots of Tequila.

On the way to the car, Chelsea comes across some gross-looking roadkill.

Chelsea: Eeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!
Athena: Oh, get over it. (walks over it without even flinching)
Chelsea: I can’t believe you can get so close to that thing.
Athena: It’s not going to hurt ya. (points down) Watch out for the maggots.

Ah, what a lovely evening. However, I’m certainly glad to be home and that I won’t have to return there for a looong time.