If you get the title to this feature, you’re just as much of a geek as I am.

Police in Georgia today started the manhunt for the lost and dangerous angst of Graeme Hefner, a vaguely funny and somewhat damaged writer who lives in the backwoods of nowhere.

The problems began when Graeme and his angst began fighting several days ago. When the angst became irate and moved into a desk drawer to be alone, Graeme did the right thing and tried to do something nice for it. Unfortunately, it was enough.

“Yeah, Graeme called up and asked if my angst was busy, and I said it wasn’t. He wanted to know if my angst could hang out with his angst sometime, you know, cheer each other up. I suggested summer camp,” said one of Graeme’s friends, a somewhat funny web cartoonist.

Unfortunately, Graeme’s angst wasn’t too pleased with this arrangement. Hurling foul slang associated with homosexual acts, the angst ran off in the night. Four men have died since that time, and Graeme’s angst is believed to be responsible. In a press statement released by the police department, they announced that the murders fit Graeme’s angst’s penchant for knives of the last classical and high medieval periods. They ask that if you hear something softly quoting obscure movies and niche 80’s pop tunes, you start running immediately.

“My angst is lazy and has little legs. You’ll probably get away, if you try hard enough,” said Mr. Hefner, right before breaking into tears. “I just want the little guy back. He’s confused, is all.”