This feature started out as something entirely different.
A brief history . In early 2003, cloning mega-corporation Rebirth Enterprises was struggling with billions in debt. They were saved only by a last minute takeover bid from the YPC, or Yellow Pants Consortium. Now under the devious management on the YPCs, the first thing the company had to do was abandon its entire product line. Beginning in April, and entire string of new, mini-clones only four inches tall, called pocket companions, was introduced by the company. Except for the notable failures of the Sir Francis Bacon and All I Hear Is Clapping! Pavlov model, the new products were a runaway success. Seeking to expand their product line in the child and bi-curious markets, Rebirth YPC approached The Jux Entente for a line of Pocket Juxations, of which the Pocket Kenny is the first to be introduced.
Meant as a study companion, but useful both as a pet and just for general amusement, at first it seems the Pocket Kenny falls short of its intended goals. The box advertises that you can use Pocket Kenny to help you with your math or computer science homework, but often as not seeking his advice just results in high pitched midget profanity and glaring. In this case, the likeness of the real Kenny is perhaps a bit too accurate, since its entirely likely that your new pet is going to hate you. Still, after fifteen minutes of prodding him with a pencil tip, I did get my test Pocket Kenny to fix a sample problem I had caused on my computer. After this, though, he set my AIM to away and went to take a nap.
Pre-programmed commands work well, which is one of the Pocket Kennys saving graces. When I tried the test command of Fix the fucking feature poster damnit!, Pocket Kenny proceeded to do just that. He then made us both Dr. Pepper slushies, went out for Wal-Mart chicken, and played Frisbee with an old pog I had lying around. Once the command wore off, though, it was back to napping.
The product is highly durable, something that shouldnt be overlooked if you have pets. The Pocket Kenny likes to meow at damn near everything, a trait that my Siamese didnt take too kindly too. My slightly chewed Pocket Kenny was none the worse for wear and even stopped complaining after I gave it the miniaturized CLIE PDA that had come in the package, which I had been withholding from it up to that point.
Not a good idea for children. The Pocket Kenny likes the swear, and a flaw in the early software causes him to randomly say nothing but the word Teat for four hours at a time. (Note: Since I was reviewing a beta version, this might have been fixed.) He also is a horrible role model for productivity. I went to bed with the Pocket Kenny still napping, but when I woke up, he had formatted my PCs hard drive six times, installed three Linux distributions, and somehow gotten Ragnarok Online to run in Gentoo. An admirable amount of work to get done in one night, except that I lost four years of research data at the same time. Plus my daughters book report.
The real reason to buy a Pocket Kenny is value, since, at worst, hell only be as expensive as a hamster, and much neater. A single, blister-pack Pocket Kenny costs $3.95 and comes with a free weeks supply of Dr. Pepper, a miniature CLIE, and a UNIX rack-mount server. You can also buy a 6-pack of Pocket Kennys for $25.69, which comes with all of the above, as well as a special coupon for a free copy of Tanooki Jux Pocket Kenny Extreme Urban Assault Edition, which they expect to hit the shelves in August. Thats a lot of oomph for the price point.
Editors Review: 7 out of 10 (Recommended with Reservations)
