Police baffled.
In the most dubious threat to national security in recent years, a Yemeni man today hijacked the IBM Tower in Atlanta in an attempt to ram it into a 767 taking off from Hartsfield International Airport.
“The paper…I got confused, I guess,” said the man, who was apprehended by police minutes after the ‘attack’ began.
Officer Rita had more to say on the subject when we questioned her this evening. She was the arresting officer in the case.
“He took over the buildings control center with a small pocket knife, and basically tried to launch the thing. He doesnt know how to read English, so he wasnt quite sure what he was doing. He managed to turn the air conditioners all the way to full and freeze them up, and he got an elevator stuck on the top floor, but that was about all the damage he caused. We still cant figure out how he got confused enough to think he was supposed to ram the building into the plane . We originally thought he might be dyslexic, but upon closer examination, he might simply be an idiot. Maybe they dont have many skyscrapers, or planes, where hes from, I dont know.”
The man, whose name has yet to be released, is currently in custody in Fulton County.
*(Happy September 11th!)
(Oh, be quiet, we were serious last year)
