I’m so sorry…it’s all my fault…

It began innocently enough, one day, out of the blue. It would turn into a nightmare that has scarred me for life, and may one day arrive to torture you…

One day, to cure Travis’s incomparable idle mind, I invented a creature that would seize his attention through the use of Trillian’s built in graphics and sounds. That creature was…Vermillion. He was a tiny octopus that would scream, yell, beep and holler until Travis paid attention to him, and through him, me. It was all perfect, for awhile.

One day I woke up, and through my still-hazy eyes I looked over and saw him…Vermillion…in my chair. I wasn’t sure how to react at first. Do .gif octopi often come to life? Was this is a first? He seemed nice enough, anyway…content to just sort of sit there and look happy…so I left him alone. Maybe that’s not what he wanted. Maybe he craved attention from me that I just couldn’t give. Perhaps this really is all my fault, and I am a bad octopus parent. All I know is, there was no way I could prepare for what happened next. Vermillion went crazy.

Without warning, he leapt onto my dog Pugsley’s head! He was biting with his little beak like crazy. Pugsley fought back bravely, for a fat little dog who’s never been in conflict with anything other than socks. It was futile.

Pugsley was defeated. My little fat puppy was no more.

Vermillion wasn’t satisfied with the dog. All the animals were a threat. Normally, nothing short of a small dragon or Panzer tank could attack my cat and win. But Vermillion cheated. Vermillion snuck up on him while he was napping. With the animals out of the way, my family and I knew we were next. There was nothing but wait…and pray.

Then he did…he made a mistake! He ran upstairs, seizing two bedrooms and several closets, and taunted us from the balcony. Not only was he in control of the bed linen, but he had access to hundreds of stuffed animals and beanie babies! He was going to enlist an army! However, there wasn’t so much as a single crumb of food upstairs. This was our chance. If Vermillion got back down with an army, we were done for. So we laid seige to the stair case, attacking our own home. Armed with my machete, .22 rifle, two Louisville Slugger baseball bats, two daggers, both my BB guns, my crossbow, and my trusty but rusty English long sword, I took the stairs, while my father covered the balcony with his 9mm. He was trapped.

Starved, all but two of the stuffed animal horde refused to serve Vermillion. Finally, desperate, he gathered both of his disgruntled muppet followers and charged my position, attempting to gain freedom. I was forced to give ground, but Gonzo was wounded in the effort. I immediately started a guerilla action rivaling that of the British retreat from Lexington and Concorde, hounding them and preventing them from gaining any peace in the host. Battered, they ran outside. They were going to try to escape!

They ran to the oldest car we had, and the only one they knew they could hotwire. It was here that Vermillion must have appreciated his new allies the most, since there was no way he could drive a car. Moments later, they were gone. I debated chasing them, but decided I was too fatigued.

It might have been an error on my part. Entire families have been on the news when they’ve gone missing, mysteriously. There was a bit of orange felt found at the house in Birmingham…

Will it ever stop? Can someone else put an end to Vermillion’s reign of terror?

What if he comes back?

…has my impatience with Travis being idle…destroyed the human race? What if there are more…