and I can prove it.
Today I am going to talk to you about global warming. There are many scientists who believe they can disprove that global warming exists. They are idiots. In fact, everyone who also thinks they can prove the existence of global warming is also an idiot. Nobody has thier facts straight. I however, have the correct data and derived an exactly precise approximation of a global warming equation. Now the first thing we must understand is that of refridgeration. A refridgerator works by pumping heat from the inside of a box to the outside of a box. In addition to this heat, it releases additional energy, quantified by the work it takes to pump the heat. I am going to make up a term that I like to call “energy density”. That is, the amount of energy in an area. This is not the same as temperature, because temperature only measures an average kenetic energy. Now, because of the heat(energy) being pumped out of the box, the heat density inside of a refridgerator drops. But the law of energy conservation says that the remaining energy must go somewhere, and I am pretty sure that the earth’s energy radiation is not affected. So where does this extra energy go? Into our atmosphere. Now we have an increased amount of energy(heat) in our environment. That is not all though. Because there is an area inside of the refridgerators that is now no longer part of our atmosphere the area of our atmosphere decreases. With a lower area and higher energy, the “energy density” of our atmosphere is much larger than it was before, accounting for all of the area lost and energy gain due to the millions and millions of refridgerators we use. This can all be simplified to the simple global warming equation:
The question is, is a cold beverage worth a warmer planet? I’d say yes. In fact, I’m drinking a cold refridgerated Dr. Pepper beverage as I am writing this. Also, I made all that up, even though it sounds awfully accurate to me.
UPDATE: 10 minutes later
A proposable solution has just occured to me. Instead of releasing this heat into the atmosphere we manufacture conjoined refridgerator/oven units. The heat density of the refridgerator will be pumped into an enclosed volume of an oven. One will always be hot, the other cold. The atmosphere will remain the same, the refridgerators will remain the same, but now we get a cheap and simple oven, and the entire unit can be marketed as environment safe, which will get us all the coveted “hippy” sales.
