… and then his refridgerator ran away!
This feature is all about jokes and punchlines. I made up 5 jokes/situations and asked Travis and Graeme to complete the jokes. I also completed them. The jokes will be shown, along with the three punchlines, but we will save the identities of the punchline creators until the end. Think of it as a joke quiz, and try to guess who made up which punchline! Lets begin:
1) Why did the chicken cross the road?
a) Because he’s a filthy jaywalker, and jaywalkers have no respect for the law. Always obey traffic signs and signals. ALWAYS!
b) She needed to get to the bigger Cock.
c) To beat up the Mormon who stold his pet cricket.
2) I was in the grocery store and this kid starts crying for some candy, His mom, who happened to be quite beautiful, took the kid by the shoulders and said…
a) “Thhthpphpptptfpffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauugnnhhhh!” The kid freaks out and says, “Ok, ok, ok, ok, I’m sorry! Please mom, glue your dentures back on!” The mother calmly walks past the candy section, and flashes me a Polydent grin as she gives the thumbs up. Now that is a parent. What kind of parent, I am not sure. But man, oh man, what a parent.
b) “I told you, no candy until you give up breast-feeding!”
c) …nothing as she ran him over with the grocery cart.
3) A snapping turtle named Rupert and his pet camel walk into a bar…
a) The bartender says to Rupert: “I thought those things were supposed to hold a month’s supply!”
b) Where they promptly start biting and spitting people. When the bartender asks them what the hell they’re doing, Rupert replies: “I’m running for governor!”
The bartender, hearing this, looks at Rupert for a second, and starts laughing. “What’s so funny?” Rupert asks.
“You’re supposed to have a pet Elephant,” the Bartender said.
Rupert promptly died of embarassment.
c) The bartender sees
the camel and yells, “Hey, get this animal out of my bar!” The camel spits, and there is a loud snap as one of the barstools falls to the floor. The bartender is frightened, but he holds his ground and shouts, “I said get out of my bar!” The camel spits again, and another loud snap is heard as the pool table wobbles and crashes to the floor, spilling billiard balls everywhere. Flabbergasted, the bartender screams at the camel, “What is wrong with you? Why are you wrecking my bar?!” The camel takes a deep breath and spits one last time. The bartender cringes expecting more destruction, but instead he feels something tapping his foot. Rupert looks up at the bartender and says, “Hey mister…these pretzels are making me thirsty!”
4) What is the difference between bread mold and a panda on roller skates?
a) The number of toads you lick.
b) One of them likes having sex with female pandas, and the other is wearing roller skates.
c) The shade of green!
5) My uncle and I were walking down the street. Suddenly he stops in front of a pawn shop, staring at a display in the window. His wife’s $3000 wedding ring is smack in the center. He walks in and confronts the owner…
a) The owner says, “She left it on my bed table. Tell her she still owes me $50.”
b) “Excuse me,” he says. “I have a few quest-” FWOOOSSSHH! The owner spontaneously combusts! My uncle seemed stunned for a second, but quickly recovered. “Yes, quite.” he declared. He then cleared his throat and adjusted his monocle. We never spoke a word about it ever again.
c) The owner, seeing my uncle walk in, smiled and said: “Don’t worry sir, I made sure she bought the right boat for your birthday.”
Are you ready for the answers?
Just a little bit more…
Here they are!
Kenny: b) c) a) c) a)
Graeme: c) b) b) b) c)
Travis: a) a) c) a) b)
If you got all 15 right, then good job! If not, you are the butt of the joke! Special thanks to Graeme and Travis!
