Ants in my pants.
Yes this is the feature in which I grade the one thing that always stands behind you…or sits….whatever.
Rumps are a wondrous thing! They too, have different functions and can be very useful. In this short staffed field of Glubbery Behind Grading, it is always hard to find a willing specimen. Therefore, I have volunteered myself……to sneak into Travis’ bedroom and take photos which will be hidden somewhere on this page.*
Now, on with it!
Left cheek : This is a jiggling, writhing mass of fat cells. Though it appears to be slim I can assure you that it is nothing of the sort. Plus it talks to you…which is creepily creepy. D
Right Cheek : Although slightly less jiggly and ugly than its evil twin Lefty, this isn’t a much better alternative. It hears everything. You know that thing, that thing you said about her? Yes…it knows that. It will also threaten to tell, and will if you don’t give it what it craves. And we all know what that is, yes? A+ (God don’t tell her!)
Crack : This, I think, is the BEST part of the ass of Travis. It’s fragrant, colorful, and holds many exotic yellowing foods! Awesomew! The only problem I see jere is vocal. When he speaks, everyone listens, and boy do they hear! There are small countries that pay homage so as not to anger this belligerent god. But there’s something to be said for disturbing idols, so… A-
Finally,
Scent Receptor : As we all know, Travis can smell ants. His secret power that only happens when ants are seen! Yonkers! The reason for this strange talent is easily explained. This unique receptor opens in four points.
- Left cheek mole : At this entry way, the pheromone is first detected and then processed to later be defined as “Ant Reek”. This is the initial alarm and so sends an S.O.S to the next port.
- Dent above crack : Here, we see the dent sending waves of waft directly to the brain where it is then bounced back through the arse and sent to the next point.
- Right Cheek Poo Splotch : This unwiped part of Travis’ backend warns all the other parts of him, as well as those around him with a few telltale signs of nervosa. Travis at this point will uncontrollably chitter and squeal. Where after, he will claim to have a metallic taste present. This, in turn, will cause those around him to become uncomfortable and insult him as a defense.
- The Rectum : Here we come across the most important part of Travis’ ant sniffing ability. For this is where it originates. Yes, folks Travis pulls this power directly out of his ass.
Q+
And so, there it is. Butt Frenzy! We all knew it had to be done. We’re just sorry it had to be the Rosenbaum model, with its glandular insect inclination. That is all we have today for Vivian grades the rump. Enjoy your sane friends with their radioactive spiders. And don’t feed them ants.
