Featured Guest Writer(s): Jakk
And the secret of life.
Umm
. Hello
The name Is Areius.
Dont let my elven heritage fool you; I am far more than just a simple everyday tree hugger. I know the problems of this world, and I know what to do. You can trust me. I am the hunter. Just listen .
That isnt right, is it?
-rewinds the tape-
Umm . Hello
The names Jakk. With 2 Ks.
Seeing as how this is my first feature, I think I should write about something that EVERYONE can relate to. Like, um,
BUNNIES!
Okay, no.
So, anyways, I was playing World of Warcraft one day, when I met a rather odd duo. I saw a human rogue with a helm that looked like it was made to be sat on and a night elf druid who kept licking me. Normally, I would have just killed them and moved on, but Im a weirdo too. So I talked with them.
Areius: Want to raid Sun Rock?
Zhakrin: Were already headed there, you can tag along.
Kitt: Yeah, sure.
And thats how I met our two resident website makers.
Im a Canuck, a damn Canadian, an Inuit, a fooking farmer, whatever you want to call me. Im all that and more. Im 14, Ive got a girlfriend, I play and pay for World of Warcraft by myself, and I LOVE spaghetti. So there. Now you know a little bit about me.
Yes, yes, I know Ive been rambling so far, but now, I am going to tell you something REALLY important.
Im going to show you the meaning of life.
But, it wont be me who will tell you. It will be my four accomplices, Areius, Zenri, Mauro, and Elamien! (Clap, or theyll be pissed.)
So, Areius, what is the meaning of life?
Areius: The meaning of life? Its simple, to find someone you truly cherish, and hold on to them forever. Then, and only then, will you find true happiness.
Then why dont you have a wife?
Areius: .. I did . Sheran She was taken from me before our love truly flourished . And to this day, I hold on to her memory, for it is so dear to my soul. I will never forget the happy times
Director: Okay, cut! No time for a sappy story! On to Zenri!
Zenri: Hello! adjusts his goggles-
Hello, Zenri. So, whats your opinion? What is the meaning of life?
Zenri: Oh, come on. Everybody knows that!
Really?
Zenri: Of course!
You sure?
Zenri: Absolutely!
Positively?
Zenri: Yup.
Completely?
Zenri: Yah..
You su
Zenri: OKAY! SHUT UP! Im not putting up with this! walks out-
Director: -smacks his head- Okay, bring out Mauro!
Mauro: Duhh .
Director: I said Mauro, not Gorilla!
Backstage Assistant: But Director, that IS Mauro!
Mauro: Harugh? picks a bug from his armpit and eats it-
Director: . You are so fired. ELAMIEN!
Elamien: Ey mate!
Director: Finally, someone with some sense.
Elamien: Want a beer? Ive downed at leasht a hunnerd already, and Muradin be damned, theyre good! Ill jusht have another shwig then . falls over unconscious-
Director: Cut! CUT! CUT! CUT!
