Well, after a lot of singed nerves on both ends, and some miscommunications of context, 2.8 men of Jux are not in fact man whores, they simply claim there can be limits to the stability of platonic relationships.
What had originally started with a joking generalization about not trusting a boyfriend to spend the night (sleepover) alone with a girl, had exploded into an all-out debate on gender relations.
The initial context that came across was that the average lonely person would try to date anyone they meet, ever, which inflamed the passions of those championing romance and good sensibility, and caused some name-calling and general defamation of 2.8 Jux men.
But, after clarification and serious debate, the statement has been revised to put forth that:
If one is “single” (i.e. not in a relationship, but open to one), one will at least evaluate (if even for a millisecond) the possibility of a deeper relationship with those who are compatible (or thought as compatible, based on what one knows so far). A single person open to a relationship wants companionship, and will inevitably evaluate opportunities for mutual emotional fulfillment (and either find there is a possibility OR no possibility there).
A traditional platonic relationship between two eligible, single people can be generally more difficult than a casual romantic one, or even a casual same-sex one, because it requires constant dedication and an agreement from the outset that it will be platonic, because if one or the other party develops feelings for the other, the platonic relationship is in jeopardy.
The reason the viewpoint stated above is so important is that many times a platonic relationship is merely implied, not stated explicitly, and this can cause issues with communication and ultimately give rise to the dangerous possibility that it might fall from Plato’s guidelines. If you want to ensure a platonic relationship is successful, this “evaluation” should be false for both parties. If not, it will take tremendous will to maintain the platonic status in light of prevailing feelings.
Just to give a little more credibility to this viewpoint, and to prove that this is not simply a “man-whore” perspective, I will cite some articles on the subject that happen to be written by females.
“But here are some points to jot down for future reference…Friendship between men and women will only succeed if the ground rules are set out from day one. You need to decide what each individual’s expectations are from the friendship. This in turn, leaves no room for misunderstanding. Unfortunately successful friendships are not guaranteed in life so make the best of what you’ve got. Every situation will vary depending on the individuals involved so what is good for one friendship may not necessarily be good for yours.”
To Be Friends or Not… That is the Question? (Annemarie Failla)
“Of course, there is always the possibility that platonic relationships will evolve into something more. But relationships that begin with friendship as their base are always far more stable. Both partners are more comfortable with each other. There are no pretensions in the relationship.”
MY BEST FRIEND IS…. (Cynthia Rodrigues)“Platonic relationships abound, and I’m sure that if you think about your own circle of acquaintances, you will discover platonic relationships that are working quite well. But many platonic relationships do not work well. When romantic feelings spring up in both parties, then the friendship turns into a romantic relationship and everyone is happy. But a good portion of the time only one of the friends becomes attracted to the other, and then the platonic relationship is in trouble.”
Platonic Relationships – Can They Really Work? (Eve Carmichael)
If you have ever said or thought, “I would never date this person”, you have evaluated them; you have come to a conclusion. In order to have an opinion like that, you (for various reasons) have discounted them as a potential partner, but you have still gone through the process of evaluation. If your evaluation turns out that you might like this person more than a friend, you still might choose not to, in order to preserve the platonic friendship, but that evaluation still comes first.
It doesn’t have to be about raging sex hormones. It doesn’t have to be about who is ugly or not (though it often does). It doesn’t have to be about suppressing logic in the light of romance, as it is often exhilaratingly and delightfully illogical at times.
It has to do with the choices you make, and the understanding you bring to a relationship. One should never assume that a platonic relationship will not fall to the dangers outlined above if it is not made clear in the beginning, and kept clear, that it is purely a platonic one.
It is not whorish to realize that human nature exists, and that to have a successful platonic relationship, you may have to plan accordingly.
