The giant spider is back. I’ve killed him several times before, but I finally discovered his secret. He is a teleporter. When we first met, I captured it in an empty tennis ball canister where he lived for a few weeks despite my attempts to poison it. Hippies decided it should live and kidnapped it to set free in a dumpster. The spider returned a few weeks later whence I smashed it with my foot. This was all at least a year ago. The spider returned again tonight, waiting less than a foot from my deadlock, seeking his vengeance. So I swatted it to the ground and stomped him. This is when he pulled his trick. There was no body left on the ground, and upon thorough inspection of my shoe, no remains left there either. The only possible solutions are that he teleported away or I crushed him so completely he disintegrated. I think teleportation is the more likely answer. I’m sure he will return again to try and kill me. I must be prepared. If you know how to prevent teleportation contact me. He will not survive again.