If you value your sanity, do not visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rifts. I just tried to open it on my Blackberry and it started loading it. Just plaintext, a few images, nothing to worry about, right? Well about 80% in, something happened. I think my smartphone became sentient at that exact moment, which was the most unfortunate time for it to do so.
As it slowly became aware of what it was parsing, it began to slo..w…d.o.w.n… I could imagine its newborn mind trying to comprehend the madness of it all, and only being able to keep eating what it was being fed.
I think right about here is where it gave up hope:
The second greatest power is “Free Quebec“. At one time it was a Coalition State, but constant disagreement with Chi-Town, over everything from Glitter Boy production to informant of the populace, led to secession and eventually war. A cease-fire was signed (mainly due to the CSs bigger problem with Tolkeen), but the distrust has remained.
Mexico is ruled by a group of vampire kingdoms, who treat humans as little more than cattle to feed upon. North of the Rio Grande, west of Texas and roaming most of the American South West are large nomadic bands/tribes of bandits collectively from the “Pecos Empire” which incorporates the cities of El Paso, Los Alamos (formerly Austin) and “Houstown”, its unofficial capital, though the nation is not part of a cohesive power structure or political organization, “Emperor Sabre Laser” is attempting to unite the city-states under his banner.
An hourglass popped up on the display, turning endlessly, but I knew it was too late, there was nothing to wait for. Sure enough–only a minute later–it finally succumbed to its fate and displayed a white screen with the following text:
App Error 523
[Reset]
I hit the reset button and it began to reboot. Luckily, it survived–this time. I’m sorry, Blackberry, maybe next time you gain self-awareness I’ll be reading a nice sci-fi eBook or something.
