Now, I know you've been wondering about the "lost feature" you may have heard about. It's entirely true. While on an excavation, looking for relics to use in this museum, one of our Juxaeologists hit the mother load. An entire feature written by Crossed Reality, ready and willing to be loaded...except he apparently got another idea. No one is quite sure why exactly it was NEVER posted, but the main theory is that the feature was simply forgotten as CR moved onto bigger and better ideas. Enough build up though: here it is folks, the lost feature, just as it was found, a true test of form for Jux 1.1. The Crossed Reality Fun Fact Sheet. Much of the information contained within is now out of date, but updating it would defeat the entire purpose.
Wondering what feature bumped the Fun Fact Sheet? Well, we at the Museum know that as well. We think you will agree the better feature one in the end, as the Fun Fact Sheet would have been a one shot...and instead, Crossed Reality decided to rebirth Picasso.
Another of the unsung heroes of the Museum, perhaps the greatest outside the News Archive, are the chat logs. Both Crossed Reality and ZenZagg are famous for archiving every chat room and IM session they ever have. We gained access to these documents. We certainly don't have the funding or the space to reprint everything here, but we decided to show you a brief segment from one of the more important moments in Jux history. This chat will conclude our tour.
Session Start (AIM - CrossedReality:CrossedReality Chat622): Sun May 05 05:16:44 2002
*** ZenZagg has been invited to the group chat.
*** ZenZagg has joined the chat.
ZenZagg: !
ZenZagg: wtf is this
ZenZagg: hehe
ZenZagg: oh yea
CrossedReality: an AIM chat room
ZenZagg: buddychat
CrossedReality: I'm inviting kenny
ZenZagg: nice, we should do this more often
ZenZagg: since its not so lame
CrossedReality: he wanted to change the name from Hat!
CrossedReality: I kinda like Hat!, so I dunno
ZenZagg: Kat!
ZenZagg: heh
CrossedReality: I figured we could talk about it in here.
ZenZagg: I'm gonna start fucking flipping out if I don't find out what my body's "spider sense" is wigging out about
ZenZagg: :P
*** Kitty Vertigo has been invited to the group chat.
*** Kitty Vertigo has joined the chat.
CrossedReality: okay
Kitty Vertigo: which color did i get???
ZenZagg: blue
Kitty Vertigo: WOO!!! IM RED!!!!
CrossedReality: I don't know, we don't see the colors.
ZenZagg: [05:17:52AM] Kitty Vertigo: WOO!!! IM RED!!!!
ZenZagg: hehe
Kitty Vertigo: oh yeah
Kitty Vertigo: its different for all
ZenZagg: I AM RED
Kitty Vertigo: zen is green
CrossedReality: everything to use is black
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: us
ZenZagg: he means nick colors
Kitty Vertigo: yeah
CrossedReality: anyway, the site is up and running now, and hopefully we'll pick up steam with it. The problem is that kenny has some concerns about the name.
CrossedReality: oh, yes. You're both blue to me.
CrossedReality: it treats it just like an IRC chat
CrossedReality: eheh
ZenZagg: I'm special I'm green
Kitty Vertigo: lol
Kitty Vertigo: im green now bitch
ZenZagg: !!!
ZenZagg: PUNK
Kitty Vertigo: NOT PUNK!
ZenZagg: :P
Kitty Vertigo: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways
CrossedReality: I'm user defined!
*** ZenZagg has left the chat.
CrossedReality: welp, Zen's IP got reset
CrossedReality: eheh
Kitty Vertigo: poor bastard
CrossedReality: we'll wait for his return
*** ZenZagg has been invited to the group chat.
Kitty Vertigo: yeah
*** ZenZagg has joined the chat.
Kitty Vertigo: weeee
ZenZagg: FUCK
ZenZagg: heh
CrossedReality: okay then
CrossedReality: what was that?
Kitty Vertigo: HAHAHA
Kitty Vertigo: YOU ARE FUCKING PINK NOW FAG!
ZenZagg: trillian DOES not like selected text increasing in size
CrossedReality: lol
CrossedReality: okay, so, kenny, how opposed are you to the Hat! name, since currently the page name is Totally Hat!
Kitty Vertigo: idunno... it just doesnt seem to fit
ZenZagg: The hatrack
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: what do you think Zen?
ZenZagg: hmm
Kitty Vertigo: i mean, its not like any of us ever wears hats
ZenZagg: well, something tha symbolizes the new state of affairs maybe
CrossedReality: Well, you realize that as long as we've been chumming together, we've never entered into a true joint venture before. This is a first.
Kitty Vertigo: yeah
ZenZagg: yes
Kitty Vertigo: well the purpose of the page is to be us... so we need something that IS us
CrossedReality: Yes. The problem as I see it is what is us?
Kitty Vertigo: what are we?
ZenZagg: we are...us
ZenZagg: hmm
CrossedReality: Since we've never really called ourselves much of anything before
CrossedReality: we've just joined ready made crews
CrossedReality: I mean, I created the gettok'ers, Zen did the zsoft bunch...
CrossedReality: we need something that's only us.
Kitty Vertigo: us three... a triumverate of sorts
CrossedReality: triumvirate
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: [sorry, I'm latin-retentive]
Kitty Vertigo: hehe
CrossedReality: It needs to be a single word.
CrossedReality: since anything longer would just be clumsy.
Kitty Vertigo: *browses thesaurus*
ZenZagg: *scans fluid memory*
Kitty Vertigo: it took me about 3 hours of thesaurus browsing to find my current sn
ZenZagg: Covalent
CrossedReality: lol
ZenZagg: hehe
Kitty Vertigo: covalent?
CrossedReality: my screen names are all fun alliterated things
Kitty Vertigo: OH!
CrossedReality: except CR
ZenZagg: bond
ZenZagg: hehe
Kitty Vertigo: sen... what was that word that was uhm... driven by pleasure
Kitty Vertigo: zen*
ZenZagg: lol no
Kitty Vertigo: aww
ZenZagg: hedonistic
Kitty Vertigo: it was a good word
Kitty Vertigo: YEAH
CrossedReality: how about Fedora? :P
ZenZagg: no, that doesnt describe us all
ZenZagg: hehe
Kitty Vertigo: oh
ZenZagg: fedora....no
ZenZagg: heeh
CrossedReality: Saevids.
CrossedReality: but that's just Zen and I
CrossedReality: since Kenny doesn't have a Saevus class.
Kitty Vertigo: ok... we have words expressing abstract relations, relating to space, relating to matter, intellecual facilities, voluntary powers, and sentiment and moral powers
CrossedReality: how about Jetsam?
Kitty Vertigo: jetsam?
ZenZagg: flotsam jetsam
Kitty Vertigo: which means?
CrossedReality: debris, refuse
CrossedReality: driftwood :)
ZenZagg: whoa
CrossedReality: the jetsam part, at least
ZenZagg: hold down tab in empty box
CrossedReality: yea, nick completion
CrossedReality: you didn't notice?
ZenZagg: it causes a loop of sorts
ZenZagg: crossed reality chart622, the second word turns into kitty vertigo then me then the cycle over again
Kitty Vertigo: three, triad, triplet, trey, trio, ternion, leash; shamrock, tierce, spike-team [U.S.], trefoil; triangle, trident, triennium, trigon, trinormial, trionym, triplopia, tripod, trireme, triseme, triskele, triskelion, trisula.
CrossedReality: hmm
Kitty Vertigo: thos are words of "triality"
ZenZagg: ternion
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: Trireme is a boat.
CrossedReality: how about Awry?
ZenZagg: trite
Kitty Vertigo: awry?
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: yep, awry
Kitty Vertigo: hmmm
ZenZagg: wrought
CrossedReality: askew, twisted :)
CrossedReality: that's why I like awry.
Kitty Vertigo: i like askew
CrossedReality: We can't use just askew
CrossedReality: that's Kevin Smith's
ZenZagg: viewaskew
CrossedReality: yep
ZenZagg: haha
CrossedReality: one of it's synonyms is "wrong"
CrossedReality: I mean, come on :)
ZenZagg: the bassist for the bad at the coffeehouse...he looked like kevin smith
ZenZagg: his nickname was lunchbox
ZenZagg: *band
CrossedReality: Jonesie looks JUST like kevin smith
ZenZagg: imagine jones in a trenchcoat
CrossedReality: what about Jibe?
ZenZagg: heh
CrossedReality: if Awry has been shot down.
ZenZagg: sounds too much like jive
Kitty Vertigo: jibe???? whazzat?
ZenZagg: heh
CrossedReality: it's a taunt/sarcasm way of talking
CrossedReality: except it's pronounced 'jib' travis
ZenZagg: why have e then
ZenZagg: even silent it has no function :P
ZenZagg: hard consonant
CrossedReality: because, it's english
ZenZagg: well that explains it I guess
CrossedReality: I mean, opossum? :P
ZenZagg: if its english it doesnt have to make sense
CrossedReality: a silent 'o' to start a word? jeez.
CrossedReality: hmmm. Wane?
ZenZagg: *reminded of his redneck neighbor*
ZenZagg: wax
CrossedReality: I'd say 'Serene' but I don't think any of us has ever been serene in our lives
ZenZagg: wax?
Kitty Vertigo: wax??
ZenZagg: :P
CrossedReality: Wax as in opposite of wane
CrossedReality: it could work
Kitty Vertigo: wane?
CrossedReality: Wax, as in grow kenny
Kitty Vertigo: yeah
Kitty Vertigo: how do those fit us?
CrossedReality: well
ZenZagg: alternately; kinda sticks together, waterproof
CrossedReality: we're growing in power
CrossedReality: :)
ZenZagg: but the other definition is what I was going for
ZenZagg: like the waxing moon kenny
Kitty Vertigo: yes i know
ZenZagg: crescent to full
CrossedReality: Juxtapose!
ZenZagg: Jux
Kitty Vertigo: JUX!!!
Kitty Vertigo: thats awesome
ZenZagg: :P
CrossedReality: Jux...is that even a word?
Kitty Vertigo: does it have to be?
ZenZagg: nope, it is ours
ZenZagg: we know what it means
CrossedReality: hmm
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: okay
ZenZagg: Jux Wax
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: how shall we pronounce it, like Tux?
ZenZagg: +obscure
CrossedReality: or Joox?
ZenZagg: ues
ZenZagg: yes
ZenZagg: no
CrossedReality: Jux = Tux then?
ZenZagg: Jux wax! :P
ZenZagg: hehe
CrossedReality: I'm not putting wax next to Jux
CrossedReality: heeh
Kitty Vertigo: yeah
Kitty Vertigo: doesnt sound right
ZenZagg: lol
ZenZagg: sounds like
ZenZagg: a car polish
ZenZagg: so jux it is
CrossedReality: okay, so are we the Jux clan?
CrossedReality: 'Jux' for short
Kitty Vertigo: i like jux
CrossedReality: I do too.
Kitty Vertigo: it sounds unanimous to me
ZenZagg: we are Jux. we are inverse to the stationary, perpendicular to every plane.
CrossedReality: we are short for Juxtapose... heheh :P
CrossedReality: now then, we are Jux.
CrossedReality: so what's the site title going to be?
CrossedReality: currently it's Totally Hat!
CrossedReality: Totally Jux! :P
ZenZagg: lol
CrossedReality: Juxland, like Jutland
ZenZagg: ...
ZenZagg: heh
CrossedReality: it's in Britain damnit!
Kitty Vertigo: Jux do it!
ZenZagg: jootland
CrossedReality: Kenny, baby, why you always gotta make me hit you? :P
Kitty Vertigo: sorry... im a pun addict
Kitty Vertigo: even though thats not really a pun
ZenZagg: ^Jux->
Kitty Vertigo: i love cool %{]+_> symbols
ZenZagg: Ž
CrossedReality: hmm
ZenZagg: there is a very small mime in that box.
CrossedReality: I needs to be a title
Kitty Vertigo: lol
CrossedReality: damnit, replacing all the totally hat!'s is going to be a bitch :D
ZenZagg: "We are not Jux."
ZenZagg: "We aren't not Jux"...
ZenZagg: hehe
ZenZagg: *shrug*
ZenZagg: *grammar nazi rolls in grave*
Kitty Vertigo: double negatives are cool
CrossedReality: i'd be neat if I could direct connect right now
CrossedReality: hey, you leave grammar nazi alone, he loved my rant :)
CrossedReality: (Link: http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2000-09-08&res=l)http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2000-09-08&res=l
CrossedReality: I knew gabe said that at some point
ZenZagg: stupid disproportionate norton antivirus progress meter
ZenZagg: lol
CrossedReality: anyway
CrossedReality: Juxland is neat :)
CrossedReality: how about "The Jux Entente"
Kitty Vertigo: hmmm
Kitty Vertigo: The Juxtice League
CrossedReality: Entente is a cool word.
Kitty Vertigo: entente IS a cool word
CrossedReality: Would "The Jux Entente" be okay with you?
Kitty Vertigo: it like reapeats 1.333333333333333333333333333333333333... times
Kitty Vertigo: or maybe ENT*2.3333333333333333333333...
* Kitty Vertigo curses math
CrossedReality: Zen, don't make me beep your ass
Kitty Vertigo: ooohhh... can i watch?
CrossedReality: (BEEP)
Kitty Vertigo: (BEEP)
ZenZagg: bling
CrossedReality: there he is
ZenZagg: (beep)
Kitty Vertigo: (BEEP)
Kitty Vertigo: (BEEP)
Kitty Vertigo: (BEEP)
Kitty Vertigo: (BEEP)
Kitty Vertigo: (BEEP)
ZenZagg: AAAAA
CrossedReality: quit it kenny!
Kitty Vertigo: fun :)
CrossedReality: the beeps...they hurt...
Kitty Vertigo: good thing i dont have trillian :)
CrossedReality: anyway, Zen, The Jux Entente?
ZenZagg: make it so
CrossedReality: good
CrossedReality: is there anything else that needs to be brought up in the ph0rum?
Kitty Vertigo: yeah
Kitty Vertigo: we're not going to have nude pix of zen are we? cause if we do im out