Okay, I, obviously, didn’t do every holiday because, basically, that would’ve taken too much time and there are just some holidays that I feel rather indifferent too. Earth Day, Flag Day, etc. I barely notice them go by so didn’t include them in this feature. I also didn’t include any holidays that lasted more than a day such as Hannukah and Lent. So, if I’ve upset anyone over not including any holiday well, then, do your own damn holiday ratings.

New Year’s Eve/Day
One word: overrated. At the beginning of every year we always think, “this year is going to be different, this one is going to be better.” The truth of the matter is every year is exactly like the last except that you’re one year older, that’s all. I always used to get all excited about New Year’s Day just to discover that the new year feels exactly like the old one. However, I do enjoy the massive amounts of alcohol and watching the ball drop so, I guess the celebration aspect of it isn’t so bad.
Laurie’s Verdict: C+

St. Valentine’s Day
Ah, the source of so much love and hate all rolled up into one holiday. There are a few stories about how this holiday got started, but my favorite and I think this one is the most popularly known one is about a priest who continued to secretly marry people after the Roman Emperor outlawed it. To make a short story even shorter, he was found out and martyred. So, I guess this holiday is supposed to celebrate our ability to love and express that love freely, or something like that. Anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to give this holiday a low grade, but I couldn’t bear to give it a high one either so...
Laurie’s Verdict: B-

St. Patrick’s Day
A whole day dedicated to wearing green, pretending to be Irish, and getting wasted. Fun stuff. Basically, it celebrates the Patron Saint of Ireland (who wasn’t even Irish I might add). So, why do we celebrate it? Reread the first sentence of this paragraph and I think the meaning will become clear. I happen to have Irish blood and I absolutely love this holiday.
Laurie’s Verdict: A-

April Fool’s Day
Stupid, Idiotic, and childish. Not even worth this one line.
Laurie’s Verdict: F

Easter
Ah, celebrating Jesus’s resurrection by hiding eggs and eating chocolate bunnies. I grew-up going to church every Sunday, but I was definitely not allowed to miss an Easter. Every Easter I heard the story of how Jesus was crucified for my sins and then he defeated Satan and went on to heaven to his father. The only person who taught it well I thought was, oddly enough, my older brother Sheldon, mainly because he taught the human aspect of Jesus too. My religious upbringing will not allow me to give this holiday any other grade but...
Laurie’s Verdict: A+

Memorial and Veteran’s Day
Two holidays dedicated to the soldiers who gave their lives for this country or who are still alive but are now suffering because of the horrors of war. I’ve never been the patriotic sort, but even I stop and pause just to think about that on this holiday.
Laurie’s Verdict: A

Mother’s and Father’s Day
Full days dedicated to honoring the people that brought you into this world. Good for bringing up every issue you’ve ever had with them and vice-versa. I try to get my parent’s something good every year. I enjoy Father’s Day more than Mother’s Day, but that’s probably because of my own issues with my mom. I usually end up depressed by the end of each. Plus, my mom seems to like to use these days to bring up the fact that she wants grandchildren someday. *sighs*
Laurie’s Verdict: C-

Independence Day
Fireworks, barbeques, and, yes, more drinking to celebrate this country’s independence from Britain. I happen to love this holiday. It reminds you that, yes, we’re free, but before we were, many had to fight for it.
Laurie’s Verdict: A+

Yom Kippur
Jewish day of absolution. You don’t eat for one day and your sin for a whole year is wiped clean. Hell yeah! Almost makes me wish I was Jewish.
Laurie’s Verdict: A

Thanksgiving
The day to spend with your whole family just to remind yourself why you want to get as far away from these people as possible while simultaneously stuffing yourself until you’re sick.
Laurie’s Verdict: D+

Christmas
I don’t even know where to begin with this holiday. We’re supposed to be celebrating Jesus’s birthday, but mostly we just see how much money we can spend on our loved ones. This holiday always makes me cringe as it approaches because, like Thanksgiving, you have to spend it with your family and bring up every issue you’ve ever had while plastered on egg nog. Although the fist fights are usually quite entertaining.
Laurie’s Verdict: C-