And so it came to be that one day as Bobby
was gazing over his new empire he grew restless. His holy martyrs had conquered
the high school. His dervishes kept the slave populations of both schools
tightly under his grip, and were able to provide the sacrifices required
for the daily rituals. Best of all, with their crusade completed, Bobby now
had in his possession the mighty Sceptre of Jesusē. Truly, his followers
were legion, his power was unparalleled, and had become as God to the entirety
of his school system.
But there were still those who could wield more power
than he. Leaders who had very nations bend to their beck and call. A true
God would have them under heel. Bobby would be their true God. If only he
knew how.
Sitting in the throne of Zeus (recovered with much
bloodshed from a cave in Arcadia), clutching the Sceptre of Jesusē,
and drinking the holy drink of his religion, Bobby decided to ask the one
person he knew that could tell him how to accomplish his goals. Verily,
it had been too long since he had seen the Wise Old Owl. This was to be expected,
as the recess yard was now mostly blocked by the dungeons he had installed,
where the wails of the damned sang into the hallways. A nasty bit of business
that, but one that was required to keep the sinners under control. Rising
from his seat, flanked by the best and brightest of his whirling dervishes,
Bobby made his way to the back door. Devoted followers prostrated themselves
before him as he passed, eager to catch a brief glimpse of his greatness.
Passing the halls of the heretics, Bobby exited the
building. Immediately he could see the tree where the Wise Old Owl held residence,
and there the ancient bird perched in all of his majestic glory.
"Owl! Greetings, I have returned to again seek your
guidance in matters of my destiny." Bobby shouted to the tree.
The Owl did not respond. Rather, he began to preen
himself with a show of deliberate defiance.
"Owl, what trickery is this? Have I not been a true
friend to you? I have come to seek your guidance in matters of world conquest!"
This time, the Owl did respond. He removed his beak
from his feathers and fixed his large, knowledgeable eyes upon those of the
young religious icon. "I will guide you no longer, young fool."
"Heresy! Treachery! Bastard bird, how dare you defy
me so? Have I not followed your advice to the letter? Have I not trod in thy
very footsteps on my rise to greatness?" Bobby stamped one foot on the ground
so fiery was his frustration. The dervishes around him drew their blades
in anticipation. No one had dared anger their God for some time.
"You have taken my advice and corrupted it, whelp.
I wanted to guide you into becoming something truly great. But you have
fallen from the path. Instead of a mostly harmless Jesus, you have taken
the path of a young, wrathful and drunken Mohammed. My intention was never
to spawn another of those. I will aid you no longer, and I ask that
you leave my sight immediately."
The very ground trembled with the rage of the young
deity. "I think not you avian sinner. Your tree rests on territory
within my holy domain, and you will vacate it immediately, or be destroyed!
Nay, I will destroy you anyway!" And with that, a great bolt flew forth from
the end of the Sceptre and hit the tree of the Owl. The sap within boiled,
the bark split, the branches withered and the fruit rotted. Finally it exploded
with great violence, although the influence of Bobby's powers kept his followers
from harm.
But there was no sign of the Owl, until a great screech
was heard from overhead.
The great raptor swept down from the sky and clawed
out the eyes of one of the eight dervishes that surrounded Bobby. He fell
to the ground screaming in pain, clutching the remains of his boyish face.
The others showed their dexterity and skill with the speed that they struck
the air where the Owl had been, but not even the elite of Bobby's dervishes
were fast enough to counter the Wise Old Owl. His great beak removed the arm
of another, and his wings buffeted a third to death. Bobby unleashed a second
attack with his Sceptre, but hit nothing.
Finally the very ground began to shake and rumble,
opening a great pit beneath Bobby and his dervishes. The eight normal humans
tumbled into its depths to their deaths, but through his messianic powers
Bobby suspended himself above oblivion. Despite this, it was clear who had
won the day. The Wise Old Owl perched on the fence that surrounded the recess
yard.
"You may have defeated my best followers Owl, but you
know that you cannot defeat me."
"No, dear Bobby, but I can spawn another. We shall
see what happens when I create another Zoroaster to roam this Earth, shall
we? We will meet again." With that, the Wise Old Owl flew off into the distance.
Bobby sealed the ground beneath him and reentered the
school to the adoring stares of his congregation. He would show that Owl
what for.