Iraq
Leader: "All right men, the Americans are coming! You know what your mission before Allah is...to jab them in the eye with pointy sticks! Yes! The pointy wooden fury of our religious zeal will drive the infidels from this land, and you, my soldiers, shall have the sharpest sticks in all of the Iraqi army! Poke those fat American swine! Poke them well! he who kills an American will have all the booze and wenches the afterlife has to offer!"

Kuwait
Commander: "Here you are soldier, this is your M-16Q assault rifle. Have you seen one of these before?"
Grunt: "No, sir."
Commander: "Still training with the old models, eh? I'll give ya a crash course then. Clip holds five hundred 5.56 NATO rounds compressed into a 'Magazine of Holding'. This button here switches it from full-auto to 3-round burst to single shot. This switch toggles your invisibility. This little joystick can be used to give basic commands to your personal swarm of Predator drones. Here's the headphone jack for the built-in satellite radio receiver..."
Grunt: "No external speakers? Man, I hate headphones..."
Commander: "Tough up soldier, you're in the Army now! Another outburst like that and you'll lose your TiVo privileges."
Grunt: "Sorry, sir."

North Korea
Party Leader 1: "Hey, remember when Kim Jong II died unexpectedly at the end of 2001?"
Party Leader 2: "Yeah, sure."
Party Leader 1: "So, are you starting to think that replacing him with a doll that says random things was a bad idea, too?"
Party Leader 2: "Little bit, yeah."

Washington, D.C.
Every Single Person in the United States of America: "FUCK YOU CHARLES RANGEL! DEMOCRATIC BITCH! I DON'T SEE YOUR ASS OVER THERE EITHER, HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE!"
Rangel: "I'm unimportant and I'll go commit suicide now, freeing the people of the U.S. and the state of New York from my stupidity for all eternity." *immolates self*
ESPitUSoA: "YAY!"

France
Chirac: "We're the only nation in the world incapable of learning anything, ever. And we're proud of it! Yay FRANCE!"