A real Picasso strip is inside!

Someone stole our source code :`(
Chapter 4: Weapons
In many ways, the most important tools you have in helping Picasso escape the Hell Kitchen of Dr. Mereisto are the weapons you can find in may of its cupboards and refrigerators. Some of them are left behind by the denizens that attack you, but most [...]

His mother could not be reached for comment.
Early today the “Jurassic Park” Velociraptor filed a defamation of character suit against the Discovery Channel and paleontologists everywhere, claiming that they had made it impossible for him to get new work.
The star of the Jurassic Park series of films, in which he played several roles [...]

Sha-la-la
We finally changed hosts. As you know, we meant to do that months ago , but only when our server went down AGAIN recently were we jolted out of our inertia. To most of you, this really doesn’t mean much, does it? The desire to abandon our old host may be a personal thing only [...]

Happy Holidays!
Greetings. This is your Lord and Savior. I’m glad you’re enjoying the season of my birth. You have no idea how pleased I am to see that, many years after I left this earth, people still appreciate me. However, I’ve noticed some disturbing trends in the past few hundred years that I just can’t [...]

So what do they do? Let’s ask Picasso!

You say you want perfection? Really?
Last night I dreamed of squirrels. They came at dawn, and they chewed my branches. I screamed and beat them off with my candles, until I realized that I was a modern tree, and I had none. The squirrels laughed at me, and then they placed a severed head of [...]

What were we doing on December 6, 1999?
Session Time: Mon Dec 06 00:00:00 1999 [01:34] *** Retrieving #zsoft info… [01:38] úùú Joins: ZenZagg (zagg@user-38ld596.dialup.mindspring.com) [01:38] úùú Mode (X:#zsoft +o ZenZagg) [01:40] úùú Notify: ophidian has quit IRC. [01:40] (SilverSwd) back? [01:41] (SilverSwd) explain [01:41] (ZenZagg) heheh [01:41] [...]

Inside the world me it talks what?
To find out what other people think we are saying, I am going to filter parts of classic Jux features through an arbitrary online translator, by translating it through a language and back into english. First is an excerpt from my first ever feature, translated trough French, cause I [...]

I’m spinning out of control.
December 2, 2003 I have emerged from the closet. I consider myself extremely lucky to have done so. While imprisoned in my cardboard container for the past eleven months, I practiced daily at enhancing my second sight. What I discovered horrified me. For many years previous to this, [...]

A photo essay.

While doing school work, working, working on my “real writing” in Detritus, and fighting through the release of a new Final Fantasy game (X-2), this is all I had time to do lately. For Jux anyway. Sorry ;)
Also, [...]

Very popular this week, aren’t we? For becoming Pink, thou shall burn in Hell!

I really feel like I’m plagarizing, but I had to do it. (Poor Unnamed Blob) I was going to do Picasso, but I have been told repeatedly by Graeme that drawing Picasso is an art. Apparently, I’m [...]

No evidence to the contrary would be admissable in court.

Honestly, the Picasso strip inside disturbs me.

Are we no more than heathen devil pagans?
We live in denial of it everyday, but, at some point, we must face it. Thanksgiving, famous as the most popular secular holiday in America, is also the most violent. More violent than Ramadan, the Muslim virgin-raping holiday, or Yom Kippur, which is when the Jews use their [...]

They’re all going to laugh at you!

Kids, this is why you <i>should</i> play with matches. Also, Picasso.

I’m not sure why I’ve been making so many Picasso features lately, but I don’t hear anyone complaining, so I guess I’ll keep it up.

With frosting.
Overheard via super-secret microphones:
Picasso: Youbee! The month changed again. Why haven’t we replaced the run-down Graeme with a new one? You always forgot to do that at the end of the month! Unnamed Blob: I told you, we’re out of the new short haired model. I asked [...]

Picasso Inside

A list for those of you who forget.
Treat There are a lot of days in the year where you eat candy. I think there are 140 if you’re skinny and somewhere around 400 if you’re the size of Roseanne. Now then, a lot of you are asking why you should spend perfectly [...]

Not like you remember the first one…
Yancey Corgan was a lovely young man who sang in the church choir, gave thousands of dollars to his favourite charities and the ones he hated as well. One day, his Toyota Prius went hurling off the road, into his own house, where it bounced down the stairs, impaling [...]

The cheese, she is…SMELLY!

If you complain about the font, you are gay. And Elliott. Which means you’re a genius. But still gay.

Do you remember the time we ate that plum?

Okay, this really IS the end of the infamous midget Travis.

My Two Cents
Cen was a Censor Sensor Senser–that is, he sensed sensors that sensed Censors. The central powers shelled out shillings for Cen, who sensed the sensors and disassembled them silently. The townspeople were incensed at this senseless abuse of privacy, for surely everyone should be able to sense censors, it’s constitutional!
“Censure Cen!” [...]

Lemony Snickett baked cookies!
Sometimes, even the most apparently normal day at work can turn into quite an adventure. Obviously, it’s these days I live for while working at the library. Sunday started off benignly enough, and once I got all the computers started and made sure everything was where I had left it, I began [...]

An epic poem on civil rights and liberties.
My bullets have left me, oh boy. I found them in the cubbard. They wanted a revolution. They sang it to me in a song. I told them that I was not Ataturk, that he was dead and gone. Screaming, screaming they raped me with their eyes, crippling [...]

I hate you all!
This is my bad parking manifesto. I’m sick of it. I’ve been bitching for weeks, ever since I got on this rant, of just how funny it is that people are too dumb to park their cars with any sense of coordination. Finally, I decided to start carrying around my digital camera [...]

She’s turning blue! No, wait, she’s a curb.

“Oh dear God in Heaven, I’m going to be late! Mary Anne will kill me!” Robert screamed to the windshield as he whipped his car on the road leading to the movie theatre. It was his first date with Mary Anne, who was [...]

Man, that would have made a great videogame back in ‘98.

Sometimes, we have to bite the bullet and say we were wrong.
You have no idea how much this pains me. While I’m best associated as a moderate conservative (not Republican), I do usually vote with the GOP. For the first two years of his term, I was supportive of President Bush, and I voted for [...]

Opportunities are needed to stay alive. Also, this is a Picasso feature.

You’re a stranger, so, what do I care?
Proving yet again that I’m not as much of a straight-up nerd as many people think I am, have I ever mentioned to any of you that I like baseball? Or, rather, I used to like baseball, back in the early 90’s. I played little league, and I [...]

I’m so sorry…it’s all my fault…
It began innocently enough, one day, out of the blue. It would turn into a nightmare that has scarred me for life, and may one day arrive to torture you…
One day, to cure Travis’s incomparable idle mind, I invented a creature that would seize [...]

The following story is true. The names have been changed to protect the giggling.

Unnamed Blob is "The Closest Resemblance To A Boneless Chicken Breast One". Seriously.
It appears that we have reached a time, yet again, when this great website must reaffirm the titles of its members. I remember the good ole days, which were back in the day, when all of you were suckling up to the teets [...]

Poor Graeme, forced to ride a horse in the absence of his car. :(
Ok, a Monty Python/Jux spoof:
King Graeme: Graeme Soldier #1: Travis Soldier #2: Sam Patsy: Kenny (Yes, you are Patsy)
Scene 1: Wherein we all learn about swallows, and Laurie doesn’t exist [opening music] [wind] [...]

It sure beats a bicycle!
My car is in the shop until Thursday. My lovely, lovely Celes Zwei is getting the scratches that my girlfriend’s crazy mother caused fixed. As such, I’m stuck driving my mother’s Bravada. This used to be nothing more than a slight inconvenience, but after having a new [...]

It’s all good, just turn me on.
“I’d buy a new car, if he was in the seat, and then I’d crash the car on like a deserted icy road, and junk, so I’d be stuck with him. And then I’d rape him!” - Jessica Yieal, 8th Grader
“Me? Hmm…I’d buy him a new computer, [...]

I have so many different faces.
The story begins at 2:30 am as I am walking home. There is a girl standing on the sidewalk. As I move to the left to walk around her she also moves to the left. I try going right but she blocks.
She says, “Do you know who you [...]

I take showers to the beat of the war drums!
A recent debate over the meaning of this particular A Perfect Circle song has rocked the Halls of Jux, causing the picture to fall down and Kenny to lose his squeaky toy (we call her Alice, and her parents are still looking for her.) The number [...]

There’s a reason for that.
This was inspired by people I see walking around. Somehow the thought “Gee, I’m glad I don’t live with THAT person” entered my head. Here it is, a list of really bad people to live with.
1) The guy who won’t shut up. 2) A goth of any sort [...]

Finally, a cartel worse than the IRS!
2004: Following their complete success in suing multiple file-sharers for thousands of dollars each, and declaring that “No copyrighted material of any kind is available online at any moment”, the RIAA successfully lobbies for a tax that raises blank CD-R media to $9.99 a disc, claiming that [...]

Police baffled.
In the most dubious threat to national security in recent years, a Yemeni man today hijacked the IBM Tower in Atlanta in an attempt to ram it into a 767 taking off from Hartsfield International Airport.
“The paper…I got confused, I guess,” said the man, who was apprehended by police minutes after the [...]

A series of short plays.
Picasso gets married to a large grizzly bear in ‘Please Don’t Rub Your Back On My Peach Tree.’ Picasso enters, places his hat on a hat rack, and sees Yvonnne hibernating on the couch Picasso: Oh, come on. Baby, we got central heat so you wouldn’t [...]

I’m smarter than you. Neener.
The cell phone has become ubiquitous in the civilized world during the past decade. Whether you have a shiny new model with a color screen and a camera, or an ancient Nokia that has forgotten how to play Snake and refuses to work sometimes due to its midlife crisis, almost all [...]

Update: Microsoft announces ‘Anthrax XP’ demo.
Sony Cures Cancer…Two Decades Ago
PITTSBURG (AP) — Scientists were amazed today when a new report revealed that there had been, in fact, a cure for cancer since the 1980’s. This starting revelation was made at a press conference around 9:00am in which Dr. Stephen Kaufmann reported [...]

You’ll get it once you read it, I hope.

What? Okay, sorry…I hadn’t done one of these in awhile…and I think it’s funny. Jerk-off.

No, don’t just throw it in the trash! Dear God, please! My salary!
Welcome to Nihilism National Headquarters, where only the pancakes are free of angst and chocolate chips! Bring us your tired, your pathetic, your teenaged masses, and we will spin for them a tale of ultimate sorrow, worse than any country singer could ever [...]

Where is your heart? Oh, shit…well, next time, don’t leave it in the driveway!
1) Pet a fish. Preferably a leopard shark or clown fish. 2) Make a sandwich. 3) Build a house for a poor family out of subpar materials you found in a junkyard. Make them pay rent. Bring them a turkey [...]

This has nothing to do with Chrono Trigger and/or Cross.
You may not know it, but here at Jux, we have a long history with frogs. A long and interesting history. A long, and sometimes unpleasant history. It ranges to things that happened many, many years ago, all the way up to this weekend. Undoubtably, we [...]

Not what you think!
In continuing to bring you the best, most current coverage of all events in the world possible, The Jux Entente has decided to put together this back to school guide. However, since it’s been roughly forever since any member of Jux was in elementary school, we enlisted the help of one Victor [...]

Wear your seaman’s shoes.
Recently, The Jux Entente’s own Graeme Hefner was interviewed by a small teen magazine. It wasn’t really what he expected of his first interview as a celebrity, but he went with the flow. It seemed worth it at the time. The actual full interview went on for hours, so it is reprinted [...]

If we sleep together, will you give me that apple in the fridge? I’m kinda hungry…
1) For hundreds of years, since the founding of the first Universities, they have struggled to create new and interesting pits of fire for you to jump across to register for courses. These range from the mundane, archaic and labyrinthine [...]

Ah, you crazy, crazy fools.
5:16pm (EST), August 2, 2003 My bedroom Montepulciano, Italy
I realize that when I’m doing nothing but sitting around in Montepulciano, there isn’t much to write about. I check my email. I eat at restaurants. I read and play GameBoy both in the apartment and in parks. Honestly, [...]

For a second there, I thought it hadn’t saved the line breaks.
3:44pm (EST), July 26th, 2003 My bedroom Montepulciano, Italy
Well, I’m back from the bay of Naples. This will be the start of a new file in my travel journal, since I uploaded the first to Jux, finally. This is quite [...]

I’ve taken 600. This is nothing.
By now, I figured some of you might be wondering just what it’s like here in this country. I’ve been taking pictures of damn near everything I’ve come across, and, though it took me quite awhile, I have uploaded some to Jux to show you! It helps that I finally [...]

Copied as is, with no changes or walrii
1:29am (Eastern) July 5th, 2003 Frankfurt International Airport, terminal A21 Frankfurt, Germany
So, here I am in Europe for the first time. Everything up to now has been quite surreal. Now I’m just tired as all hell. There’s a disturbing amount of English writing, everywhere. [...]

The best orfice on a human body
Belly Button Pros and Cons :
It has recently come to my attention that Belly Buttons are extraordinarily important. The belly button affects the person, including their self-confidence. I, myself, am an innie, of which I am very proud [...]

I guess you could call it ‘Done’ if you really need a title.
It blocked her mind, shattering her existence. Just one look, and hopelessness consumed her. A shadow, a premonition, appearing in the alley leading to her home. ‘Cry? Run? Die? Done?’ She stepped backwards, refusing to accept her fate. The soft shadow [...]

Real
You’ve realized you’re real,         -but only after you’ve played the many roles                 -you know are played without zeal,                         -from which springs the need to stoke the coals
-that tell you what to feel.
You’ve realized love’s real,         -but only after you’ve broken the hearts                 -of those you’d never [...]

I really do hate them!
College girls. At home, I can’t stand the stereotypical ones. Now I’m trapped with a bunch of them. This was originally part of an email to my girlfriend Vivian, so I make no apologies for spelling errors and such, since I had to type it, and this, on a Euro-spec keyboard. [...]

Sorry, I haven’t been feeling very humourous lately…
I’m sorry that this isn’t a very funny piece, but I just need to get a few things off my chest. My grandfather’s dying. He only has a few days left. I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. I feel like I should be mourning him, [...]

I wonder where post addressed to "Italy" ends up…
This is what a postcard would look like if I were 5 years old and decided to make a postcard. The front is hand drawn by me. I gave zen orange shoes because athena had the dress and I had the ears, but zen didn’t have anything [...]

We have sunk to spoofing ourselves…
I thought it was funny.

I have nothing against Midgets… in fact, they make pretty decent slaves.
Everything was quiet as the day began. Magnus woke early as usual to begin his chores. The Jux HQ Building was always empty in the morning, which made his work easier. He stepped out of the tiny service elevator into the lobby, dragging [...]

I don’t actually do this in my spare time… really…
Well today we are going to try something i like to call “ascii weaving”. It is really quite simple. Just make a box figure, and then fill it in with a pretty ascii pattern. You can even make designs! See, I made one that says “kitty” [...]

Goodbye *sniffle*
Today, I’ve decided to talk to you about The Brunching Shuttlecocks , blogs, and my trip to Italy. Sadly, there will be nothing funny in here written by me, although you will be linked to quite a few things, so I hope you enjoy it. This is my final feature before I hop on [...]

This feature started out as something entirely different.
A brief history . In early 2003, cloning mega-corporation Rebirth Enterprises was struggling with billions in debt. They were saved only by a last minute takeover bid from the YPC, or Yellow Pants Consortium. Now under the devious management on the YPCs, the first thing the company [...]

Dear christ I hope not.

Don’t quite get the joke? Well then, look here…

Chapters 9-400 were boring anyway.
In the years before the Wonderful War, the Wise Old Owl and the Not-Quite-As-Wise-But-Equally-Powerful-And-Ominous Bobby were friends. This all changed when, one fateful day, Bobby felt betrayed by his owl friend, and send his whirling dervishes out to slay him.
“Bring me the feathers of that asinine alliterated avian!” Bobby [...]

You would be too if your parent hadn’t named you after a year.

The hardest part of this comic was figuring out what the hell Unnamed Blob needed to have stuck in him. I started thinking, you know, maybe a toaster…
The song is “Mother’s Talk” by Tears for Fears, [...]

If you get the title to this feature, you’re just as much of a geek as I am.
Police in Georgia today started the manhunt for the lost and dangerous angst of Graeme Hefner, a vaguely funny and somewhat damaged writer who lives in the backwoods of nowhere.
The problems began when Graeme and his [...]

Purify. You and I. PURIFY!
So it all happened Sunday. I was at work in the Children’s department, Vivian had just brought me a colour book and crayons out of the blue for no real reason, I went to show her something on Jux…and the page was up, and Kenny had said something new on it. [...]

I can already hear people being offended. Oh well.
10) Sheets This is the Christian thing to do. Poor Mexican college students are forced to attempt to learn the alphabet without the aid of nice towels or sheets, stemming from the Mexican government’s ban on anything that could be used as a turban. [...]

Thanks to Leo for some great art

Stage 0: Human
We all start here. I don’t know what initiates one on the Path of the Cat. However, I do know that it is difficult to stop. The effects of the first stage of the Path of the Cat occur in two [...]

Saint Hobart in the hizzy, or something.
Okay, so a few months ago Elliott did a guest week where you were allowed to enter as many times as you wanted. One of my two entries eventually made it all the way to #2, quite impressive considering it consisted of only one panel and one line. [...]

It really, really did.
I have no clue why I lost the ability to draw Picasso, and then Unnamed Blob’s face. I really don’t. This comic took about three times as long as any four-panel Picasso strip before it, and even more if you include the time last week when I set out to make a [...]

An Emotional Tale
My feet are peeling, and there is sadness in Jux town. The priests are weeping, the nuns are flying, the women are playing poker in the backseats of cars while laughing at the PGA tour. But it is also a time of great rejoicing. Each year, upon the peeling of the feet, the [...]

So delicious you cant eat just one….hundred!

Hello and welcome to my latest experiment. Fiction snips is an attempt to harvest original works from the random place in my head. They will have no beginning, and no end. I haven’t written prose in a while, so I’m a little rusty, but [...]

Sex, Maggots, and much, much more….
Well, I broke a promise to myself. I set foot on the campus of McEachern High School almost exactly 2 years after I graduated. It was uneventful. I didn’t bump into anyone I knew and I was able to ignore the fact that most of the graduating class’s last names [...]

He only wishes…hey, wait a second! I resent that joke!
Perhaps you have heard the rock band the Donnas. I have a love/hate relationship with them. I hate the fact that I like their music. They have a great sound, but, come on…an all girl rock band, where all the members just happen to be named [...]

Which just happens to have crossed the street.

I’m sorry. Very sorry. I just happened to see this book at work yesterday, and this popped into my head. My children are totally going to hate me ;)

Damn random self deleting files!
Recently, I revealed Jesus’s secret plan to come back in 2435, or perhaps even sooner, to kill our women and rape our trees. Many of you immediately wondered: Why rape the trees? Obviously, you don’t know much about the complexities of modern life. Thanks to the fact that we have effectively [...]

That prostitute was decapitated and posed in a lude position when I got here. Honest.
Waking up at 6:30AM My cat was going nuts with uber-deep, uber loud maows trying to get our attention. He was also randomly attacking things and tossing something around. Upon closer examination…it was a mouse! Where he got [...]

Okay, so, I’m like, waiting for Reloaded now
Today’s Picasso feature is another of those were I have a lot of ideas for the punchline. Specifically, I had three very mean ideas, and I couldn’t decide which one to use. So I used a slightly less funny, non-mean punchline. Luckily, all three of the mean ones [...]

I wish I had a reason for naming this feature that.
Wheee! This will probably the be the last feature we ever post by hand! Think about that.

He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaack. Sorta kinda.
Okay, so my junior year of high school I head to this broad’s house to pick her up for a date, right? We’re going to go see some shitty chick flick or another then I’m going to take her down to the docks to either give her [...]

A Man on a Hill part 2.
Everything was going perfectly, before Vergil Kincade started to lose control of his life. He had the friends he wanted, a beautiful girlfriend that he would have killed for, and a goal in life that was looking more possible all the time. Then it started to fall apart. [...]

How many more are there? Will we ever see them again?

-What are we doing? -We are sitting in front of the library. -Why? -To observe of course. -What are we observing? -The people walking by. -There are many people walking here. -That big guy in the green shirt has a worried look on his [...]

But it had to come to this.
Ever since this site began, we have had a good relationship with Elliott Hoffman of Spelling the Vacuum . He was the first person to link to this page, and he’s even contributed features to this page before. And that is why the following issue was discussed privately before [...]

Lovely leather surfaces.
Welcome to an old-school Jux feature, where Graeme makes fun of religion and references a metal song…AT THE SAME TIME! :-O

By which I mean the Cross & Rhodes bar and grill.
Picasso #54. Offensive for her pleasure.

My heart is broke, but I have some glue…
My Bottom 5: CDs feature comes up a lot around here. I still think it’s funny. Well, I decided to respond to it almost a year later by doing a feature of the top five albums I own as of this moment. I’ve tried to not let [...]

Picasso wants to feel the change consume him. That’s why he turns into hamburgers
That…thing…will never, ever appear again.

This started with a conversation about popples.
Yeah. Rachel and April both think that Graeme is incredibly good looking, and they are the ones who told me to put the free Graeme’s in the boxes. I bet they are out trying to find a box in a local grocery store. But the entire concept of Bendys [...]

This took a long damn time to make. Beware, it is quite long winded.
Best Feature of April 2002: The Undead Revolution

Yeah, okay, this choice was basically a no-brainer. It’s the only feature there is for April 2002. But that doesn’t make it [...]

The first mp3 from the original cast recording of Chico the Musical

Click here to download the mp3! The world sucks. Hobart’s gone gay, Unnamed Blob is nowhere to be found, Mrs. Blanchard wants my Kidneys….whatever am I to do?
Hum de do do do, It’s not [...]

I ate Jesus and now he’s unhappy.
Reasons To Do Something
1) It’s tedious Yeah, this is the main reason I’m getting sick of editing. Despite the fact that editing a novel is a strange sort of fun, the thing is 263 pages long. That’s a lot of red pen. And then I have [...]

Kitty Vertigo, back in the Hizzouse!
To the people of Earth,
The world revels in chocolate. It is the most delicously exotic flavor we know. It has even been documented to behave as an aphrodisiac. My point is, we can survive without chocolate, but who would want to? You may all be wondering “What is [...]

Is this a feature, or an April Fool’s joke? Only by clicking it will you know for sure…
This joke makes no sense. Don’t try to make it make sense. It’s just meant to be funny. It’s not referencing anything at all. I swear.

It really is!

Bonus points for guessing why this story is named that.
It was about two minutes ago, and I’m feeling great. I punched him in the face first. I wasn’t even expecting myself to do it, and the people around seemed more surprised than anyone. His head flew back and hit the wall of the [...]

Make it quick.

You can’t fail this one.

Feh.
Fehgha.ksj.dfkj.asdjf.kdjs!

And the next comic in the series…

Now now, when I feel down, I sing a depressing song, and make other people feel worse!
This Picasso strip was originally going to be a standard four-panel affair, but I decided that the extra ones sort of…well…dragged on. So here is a completely random first panel! You can fill in what happens from here on [...]

There’s going to be a few of these.
Pepsi is worthless. And there was nothing to do at Travis’s mom’s house after midnight or so. So we decided to fill some latex gloves with Pepsi and pop them in the microwave, just to see what would occur. We assumed that it would be nothing good, but [...]

My head hurts.
Recently, as many of you know, I’ve been choosing to work on my novel more often than, say, a feature for Jux. At times this may not seem fair, but, yeah, bite me. I have to make time somewhere, and this website is the easiest place to do that. It’s not like I [...]

Enter Picasso.

The cactus is right!

Hey baby, hey baby…hey.
Setting: A somewhat drab evening in Canton, GA. Cast: Travis Rosenbaum and Graeme Hefner. Prologue: Graeme and Travis are chatting on AIM about various topics of interest when suddenly Graeme has something important to declare.
Graeme: My lap is getting warm. Graeme: Humph. Travis: uhhh..k Graeme: [...]

Thanks to Travis and Elliott for the two random products.
In these times of economic uncertainty, there are many difficult choices facing you and your family. Should you invest your money in stocks and hope that a rebound will compound your investment, or should you stick with safe savings accounts? Would it be better to get [...]

He was Romano-British.
Okay, I, obviously, didn’t do every holiday because, basically, that would’ve taken too much time and there are just some holidays that I feel rather indifferent too. Earth Day, Flag Day, etc. I barely notice them go by so didn’t include them in this feature. I also didn’t include any holidays that lasted [...]

This one is from Statistics, too.
Iraq Leader : “All right men, the Americans are coming! You know what your mission before Allah is…to jab them in the eye with pointy sticks! Yes! The pointy wooden fury of our religious zeal will drive the infidels from this land, and you, my soldiers, shall [...]

More Picasso fun.

Put on your dance shoes and… *blinks*

Contains the best bumper sticker of all time.
I’ve made up some more bumper stickers I’d like to see. The thought occurred to me that, perhaps, I could just add these things to the store, but bumper stickers that are just text are boring. Even if they have funny fonts. So, while some of these [...]

Alright, time to forget the recent tragedy in some funny! FUNNY!
The Literary: Hmm, this doesn’t sound quite right. I think I’ll grab a dictionary and add words that haven’t been used for four hundred years. Maybe after tea. Where’s that damn parasol?
The Mainstream: I have no idea how to resolve this plot hole. [...]

I wrote this because of what happened while I was adding Zero 6b to the site!
Okay, so I came into my room to upload the new Zero segment for the night, and I turned my TV on just for background noise. The first thing that comes on is a commercial for a pregnancy test. To [...]

Please forget the original segment 6 was ever posted.
Okay, so the original segment 6 was horrible. I blame my friend Rebecca. It’s not at all her fault, but she was bugging me to work on Zero more, so I’ll blame her anyway. The real problem was that I felt the need to write more, [...]

Be