The thrilling conclusion.
So I have come to the final day of my story. I could see the end of my travels approaching as Santa swam closer to the waterfall. The pace was slower now than it had been when I was struggling to maintain my grip upon the metal band, so I was able to [...]

You don’t want to know where Santa keeps his guests.

In the morning, as I was standing with the giant snowman looking out towards the island beyond, it became obvious to me that the snowman of whom the Great One spoke was quite insane, as he was clinging to the pole that [...]

More photographic tricksy and writsy.
After the rumbling noise, I heard a great shifting noise, and it was quiet. I hung there beneath the cliff’s edge, listening to the river below, until I eventually fell asleep despite my precarious, and painful, position.
When morning came I felt myself being lifted. Startled, I woke up and glanced [...]

Have you slept with a zwitter lately?
I had come so far that I couldn’t help but laugh at my new predicament. I stared down at the river below, wondering how I could ever maneuver my way across safely. I lack any significant skills in boating, nor were there any materials handy with which I could [...]

You can’t get rid of me forever.
The rest of the giant’s island was a barren wasteland, devoid of life, filled only with relics of indeterminate origin. But it was in that direction, into the desert, that I had to go if I was to reach the woman who might be able to tell me from [...]

We forgot to go to Canada
G’day Juxers! That is Australian for “Get off of my Kangaroo!” I learned that when Travis, Graeme, and I travelled the world yesterday! I took some pictures of our world tour, and I figured you would be uninterested, but there is nothing you can do about it so I will [...]

Smeagle’s secret.

Sick? Fuck it.
Upon reaching the distant hills, I discovered to my surprise a creature a recognized, for he is known to be as old as the sea itself. This giant with eight legs was revealed to me for the first time in my previous life, and he looks the same as he ever did in [...]

Klar!
Are we ever really free? I seem to have been returned to life after an eternity in darkness. I remember shaking, a great tremble, and then silence. A second eternity of silence. Finally, only yesterday, I saw the light of day again, and I was reborn. Alive again, in a strange new world.
The seasons [...]

Lock him up till we can find someone darker, boys!

Seriously, I would rather kill my own mother than have to see this movie again. It’s the worst movie I’ve seen since Battlefield Earth. It tries to be bad. You tell it that it’s bad, and it cackles, and shits on [...]

This is a Picasso feature, ja?

Yeah, it’s that bad. Her spelling, I mean.

You just can’t keep a good corporation down.
Here at Rebirth Enterprises, we have been striving for over two years to bring you the best of the best. Our talents at exploiting the deeply hidden strength of humanity are unmatched. And so it is today that we bring you, our loyal customers and share holders, our [...]

Rocking the vote didn’t work, so let’s try this.
Well, after many long hours of minutes at the polls, the results of our Rock the Zen campaign are in. Let’s see what people had to say. Tune in soon when we Rock the Pussy, better known as Kitty Vertigo.
I would like to see Zen [...]

I think I did this because I hadn’t offended anyone in awhile.
As winter comes, people start to put things in perspective. It’s cold. They need to get warm. Who’s going to help them with this?
Naturally, they turn to religion, as does everyone else in times of need. Unfortunately, far too often the heads of [...]

Choose your own massive adventure.
In the beginning… You arise. The clock says that it’s one o’clock in the afternoon. Puzzled as to what has awakened you this early, you glance over at the alarm clock. Upon seeing that it is still safely in three pieces after the last time it dared wake you [...]

Impromptu feature madness!
Earlier today, Kenny perfected yet another new toy for us to use, after we noticed a rather interesting error. As usual when he goes out of his way to create an entirely new interface for us to manipulate the database with in less than 24 hours, we rewarded him amply with absolutely nothing. [...]

It’s the circle.

Happy “three days late” Halloween

This is my promise to you.
If there is some good news in the world tonight, it’s that at least the Jux Entente can stop focusing as much on politics until at least 2006.
Yes, I am (quite literally) depressed about the election. The nation is about as evenly divided as you can get. With only [...]

Hit me, clown, because you’re a little girl.
Here’s some political (toucan) poetry to get you all fired up for voting tomorrow.
From my fingers come the destruction, Wrath from my homeland of Alberta, I am a terrorist, eh?
President Bush has my support. I needed new animals for my farm, And he helped [...]

That sounds like one hell of a federation.

Don’t Like the Beavers Get in Your Way.
In A Suburban Backyard, two foes meet…

Picasso and Halloween have unlimited ramifications.

This is the first time in quite awhile I’ve broken the 4 (or 1) cell Picasso format. If you think that’s a shocker, wait until you see the Picasso Halloween Special. I don’t want to say too much, but unless I get lazy, it’ll involve… voices [...]

Don’t worry, mommy.

That is the scariest shampoo bottle ever. I don’t even like having it at my house. What kind of pervert put that fish on a children’s shampoo bottle? And the label makes it even worse.
Also, when was the last time [...]

Never. Press. 4.

TH-INIT…Done.
[Z-OS v1.02 RC2]
login: ZenZagg
password: ********
[Invalid Password!]
password: ********
[Invalid Password!]
password: ***********

>ls_
[Oh, am I supposed to have files now?]
>dir_
[Dirrrrr... I just told you I don't have any files.]
>cat_
[*Meows*]
>list_
[Top Ten List Of Things I Do To Intruders:]
[1. Tell their terminal how unfaithful they have been.]
[2. Reprogram 5 randomly selected [...]

…doesn’t mean they’re not after you.
Someone is out to get me. I am followed everywhere; by whom I have no clue. I avoid looking into peoples faces. I try to appear normal. I feel their eyes following me as I follow the sidewalk. Every eye is watching me, recording me. I can’t take more than [...]

Follow these teachings, and find the salvation awaiting you.
When one dresses for style and not comfort, humanity the butterfly is pinned to the mortarboard of oppression and put on display for the amusement of children forever.
Religion and the state shall not be mixed, lest God run for president and lose, thereby invalidating his [...]

No phone! Wheee!

It’s just a little delayed, it’s still good!
If movies have taught us anything, it’s that the zombies will come eventually. It could be tomorrow. Maybe Wednesday. Possibly Thursday. Friday’s not good for them, but watch your ass on Saturday…anyway, what I mean is, you have to be prepared for when they arrive. Anyone who isn’t [...]

A real Halloween feature.

OMG!

Now we know why he’s so prickly and prone to spikey hair!
(Man, think I should have spent more than five minutes on that photoshop?)

This is as close to a political cartoon as I’ll ever get.

Is it a Halloween feature?
Is your heart in good shape?
If not, don’t click the following link, because you can’t face… the horror!

Again.
In honor of the fact that I spent this past weekend doing nothing but German homework, I would like to create a feature on foreign languages.
In honor of the fact that I love ripping off Lore , I would like to rate the languages offered by Babelfish.
In honor of the fact [...]

Schloooopy.

This feature was spawned from the combination of two previous feature ideas.
We have a problem. Christanity is on decline in this country. Horrfying, isn’t it? To think we might have to live in a free country where the majority are heathens. Something must be done.
The problem is that they don’t share their morals. [...]

Obviously, you live until you die.
SilverMail was the second of my scripts to be released into the wild. The development of this addon was famously long. So long, in fact, that I released two betas before 1.0 (B1 and B2) just to let people keep an eye on what I was doing. There was a [...]

This took me four hours, believe it or not.
Jux has been around long enough for two Silent Hill games to hit the streets, and each time that happpens, you are well aware that I disappear. When I got Kenny addicted to the games…he disappeared. That’s because Silent Hill is the single greatest videogame series ever. [...]

Ants in my pants.
Yes this is the feature in which I grade the one thing that always stands behind you…or sits….whatever.
Rumps are a wondrous thing! They too, have different functions and can be very useful. In this short staffed field of Glubbery Behind Grading, it is always hard to find a willing specimen. [...]

Legends of the hardcore flamer.

Yep, I’m going to hell. Hades. The pit. Inferno. New Jersey.

Super naked pinkness

Wir lieben du!

The first in my series celebrating my dead mIRC scripting past.
I just recently found out that my old mIRC scripting website had died. For about two years when I first really got into computers, I was all about scripting as a hobby. By the time I stopped, I was recognized as one of the [...]

Jimmy cracked corn, and I FUCKING CARED. (Picasso)

Together, we can save the world.
We have a problem. America is hopelessly, desperately stupid. The problem is not that the stupid breed too often (although they do), but because we geeks breed too seldom! Something must be done! In desperation, I realized we needed a battle plan. So here it is.
The goal: Every [...]

In which I eat a grape, and no one cares about peanuts.

Ich sehe kein Picasso, aber das ist Picasso achtundachtzig.

I’m going to make another one out of my SpinBrush and race them.
In honor of summer ending, I thought I’d do a really stupid experiment, just like I used to back in my basic school days.
After gutting and toss what was left of the old, broken Gateway (see my Sheba Class computer dossier [...]

In which Picasso takes sex ed.

Exit this menu?

Let’s here it for Vivian’s first feature!

This is ambitious.
Do you remember the serial story we did a few years ago? It was called Zero. It was a lot of fun, but after 7 installments (6, really, but 6 had two different versions); I started to realize that it just wasn’t working, and it had to die.
Recently, I’ve been trying [...]

A new video feature.
Watch the video here! I have no idea why I made this feature, really. I was thinking of stuff to do for features related to my New Cool Idea, which should be up in a Juxtapositions article either the same day or a little after this feature, [...]

Youth. Energy. Picasso.

Get back to where you once belonged!
Given my recent, two week long encounter with the hell that is “dialup” internet access, I have gained new insight into the internet at large. First of all, I remember back in 1998 when I got my first uber-computer, and how amazing it was to everyone online that I [...]

It sure seems like the beginning of something…although I’m not sure that it is.
In the beginning, there was nothingness. And in this nothingness, there was God. For millennia, God was content. And then he wanted more. So God created the stars and the planets, and he was amused.
But time again wore on God, [...]

Quiet you: it is too a feature!
I’m usually a very careful, calm sort of person. I move objects with a delicate grace. I rarely, if ever, break anything…and if I do, it’s not through negligence. Everything I own either still works or broke after years and years of careful use. Hell, the battery backup in [...]

Featured Guest Writer(s): Dr. Hobart Nesay
A fair and balanced look.
Since the next great Jux contest is set to take place tomorrow, I thought I’d lay down some odds and analysis for you betters out there. Will Jux triumph over those that seek to humiliate them? Only time will tell, but perhaps I can bring a [...]

Ie Likee E’se
Today, everyone knows that conservatives are against abortion, for various reasons. But one thing you learn if you read history is that over time, people’s ideals change. What we think of as conservative today isn’t what conservatism has always meant. When abortion was first becoming popular, it was the very same conservative movement [...]

Cozy up to the crackle of the commandline.
[Z-OS v1.02 RC2] login: ZenZagg password: ***********

> _ > listen_ [Ok.] > _ > so…_ > I’m thinking_ > I’m remembering things_ [Yea?] > It’s pretty [...]

Joonlie issa foon Munth.
Most of middle school was spent with us putting figurative guns to each other’s heads, and then presenting the poor soul in the crosshairs with a rather undignified choice to make. A few days ago, I presented you with several of these questions to answer yourself. Question 1 is strictly a philosophical [...]

Part One of Two
I was thinking back recently to the sort of battles we used to have in 8th grade. While taking time off from the Victorian streets of London, we would spend as much time as possible trying to gross each other out. Some interesting philosophical delimmas popped up because of this.
I’ve [...]

… and then his refridgerator ran away!
This feature is all about jokes and punchlines. I made up 5 jokes/situations and asked Travis and Graeme to complete the jokes. I also completed them. The jokes will be shown, along with the three punchlines, but we will save the identities of the punchline creators until the end. [...]

Delete end, page down, scroll.
Everyone loves low carb diets, except those wacky people with degrees in science and health. Since they are working overtime to confuse our populace and keep them fat , we here at Jux feel it only necessary to tell people the truth about low carb dieting. Today, let’s focus on arteries. [...]

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack from editing.

Yeah its crap… take what you get.

His name is Gandhi.

Super Pyscho Baptist insisted that he be removed from the list.
You’d think in a world that gives props to even Aquaman , and movies are made about a guy in a black shirt with a gun (there are exactly 14,000 Punishers in Atlanta alone), there wouldn’t be any overlooked superheroes. Alas, there are. Some [...]

PAIN!#$@!$#@

Youbee breeds a lot. That’s one of the things he’s good at.

As discovered in my mailbox.
fabuklous!
I took the only one pijll of Cialgs and that was such a GREAT weekend!
All the girls at the party were just punch-drungk with my potentiagl I have fged all of them THREE times but my dgck WAS able to do some more! Cgalis – [...]

I like these!
Can you imagine a world without Jews? What a strange place that would be!
Your parents would never cry in the kitchen about money anymore, because they would be rich !
Since Jews no longer hoard all the money in the world, everyone gets to have it!
You could swim [...]

Man, I wish I was rich.
In a fit of drunken inebriatedness, the members of the Jux Entente today announced that they had purchased a high school in suburban Atlanta.
The new school, formerly known as Ulaf Siegal High School, will now be known as the Jux Subsidiary High Experience. There will be a few [...]

And your pants!

A wonderful piece of children’s literature.
Have you ever imagined a world without doctors? What a place that would be!
Your parents wouldn’t have to worry about giant health care or insurance bills anymore!
You would never have to wait for ever in a boring office, just to be poked and prodded with [...]

It’s true, eh?
Citing the “greatest boost to Canadian tourism and immigration since the Gold Rush”, the Tourism Board of Canada today gave a special person of the year award to President Bush and his entire Administration.
“We would like to thank especially, in addition to Mr. Bush, Mr. Rumsfield and the FCC. Lots of [...]

I’m doing it ’cause I like it, mr doggie.

Another sample of my "real" writing.
My Jux writer’s block continues. All I’ve been able to think about lately is my serious writing. For your sake, I hope this ends soon ;)
Until then, enjoy Six by Six. It’s the only story like it I ever wrote, and I’m quite fond of it, really.
[...]

and I can prove it.
Today I am going to talk to you about global warming. There are many scientists who believe they can disprove that global warming exists. They are idiots. In fact, everyone who also thinks they can prove the existence of global warming is also an idiot. Nobody has thier facts straight. I [...]

I need more time, damnit!

No more tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
Dear Network Executives,
With the recent departures of such high profile shows as “Friends”, it seems to me that there must be several holes in your schedules that you need to fill. I have a great idea that would be perfect for that purpose. Since reality TV is [...]

Two of them are cold, hard bitches.
Starting today, the newest of the YPC’s Pocket Friends are going to be available in stores. This new set, called the “Undesirable Friends” line, is chock full of goodness. They’re cheaper than the original Pocket Jux figures that came out last year, but since those were overly prone to [...]

This is a Picasso feature, but not a comic!
Children, have you ever heard the story of Papa Higgins’ bacon? You don’t even know who Papa Higgins was ? Well, this is a greater tragedy than I originally thought.
You see, Papa Higgins, Papa was his first name, was friends with this man named Picasso. [...]

In no way affilitated with GenCon.
The Origin of…Judaism! Setting: An open-air market. Moses sits behind some boxes, girl watching. Girl 1: Oh, look at that man over there, he’s soooo sexy. Girl 2: I know! Look at all those ears from the people he’s killed! Look how [...]

If only we had this technology

The Familiar Chip: How much do you love your pet? Enough to want to share a mind? Try our new product today! With the familiar chip, you will be able to share your thoughts with your beloved pet. Not only that, but you will be [...]

No one is sure why he was wearing a Winger shirt.
Citizens of Yuhipur were amazed today, after they watched a man plummet from the top of a large hotel to the ground. This sort of thing happens every day, but fortunately, this man lived . More than a little bit afraid to touch him lest [...]

This was originally a news post.
I’m a librarian, as you know. I’m about to talk about something that really bothers me, as a librarian. For small libraries, the Dewey Decimal system normally works great for the nonfiction. However, sometimes, it reveals just how archaic it is. Despite the fact that they’ve adjusted it to allow [...]

The other hand plays patty-cake.
< Everyone is an inventor to some degree. The purpose of this writeup is to provide a tool that will help harness the creative nature that we all possess, and often let go to waste.>
Introduction
So, you’re daydreaming. Again. Your mind is wandering, [...]

I’m always afraid that you’ll drink hot sauce.
Best Feature That Never Was Graeme Grades The Presidents: Part 2 Runner-Up: Fiction Snips #2
Best Secret Revelation Kitty Vertigo is damned hot.
Worst Picasso Outfit
Coolest Event The Jux [...]

Please, come revel in our egotism!
Welcome to the second annual Jux Awards. There have been a few changes since last year that I need to explain to you before we get started. First, there are no more categories for features. Every feature was judged against every other feature on equal grounds. Each active member of [...]

For dummies.
Water Water is the cheapest method, since it covers two thirds of the world surface. There are only two things to remember when cleaning your dog with water. First, the water needs to be clean . I can’t stress this enough. I’ve repeatedly had to handle calls from people who have [...]

Jesus is back, but where is Surly Guy?

Everything you wanted to know, and more!
The MacGyver mullet is perhaps the greatest weapon in any spy’s arsenal. Much more important than any level of equipment or scientific skill, things also possessed in great abundance by the legendary spy, the MacGyver mullet, or “SuperMullet”, is responsible for more counter-terrorist success than chatter observation and CBS [...]

Comparisons to Ma Bell unavoidable.
News services around the world were shocked today when they received a press release from God and the Choirs of Angels. The Heavens were being deregulated.
Long feared as one of the world’s worst government monopolies, the news today was greeted with cheers from a few billion people and jeers [...]

Picasso then eats them.

It’s a Poet’s Life for Me
Hapless
I once knew a cat.
On the window she sat.
She licked her rear end.
And fell with the bend.
…Now look where she’s at.
I’m on a major poetry kick. And another:
Futile
Open thine eyes to a new [...]

Because doing all this isn’t free!
Did you know that we make absolutely no money from The Jux Entente? That we are, in actuality, paying out of our (my) own pockets to please you each and every day? The store items are so marked up my Cafe Press that we sell them at cost, and in [...]

Featuring archaic eyewear.

The shadow knows…Picasso.

I hate taking the required health class.
My professor in HPS asked us to write up some questions we had about nutrition and weight today, and turn them in. Not for a grade, but for class discussion. Seeing as how I feel like I’m taking a middle school course, and this was going to be anonymous, [...]

An environmental solution by Graeme.
People, especially eco-terrorists, often attack SUVs as the ultimate example of America doing its best to destroy the environment. Well, as of today, I can officially say that people who own giant trucks and SUVs will be doing the environment a favor. Iâ??ll explain how.
Itâ??s obvious to anyone who [...]

You thought I wasn’t serious? Shame.
Iâ??m here to update you on the progress of this yearâ??s grand Jux Entente Tee-Ball game. Of first importance is that it may end up not being a Tee-Ball game at all, but, rather, a dodge ball game. The more I think about it, the more I wonder just how [...]

Parents appalled; family dog unsure how to respond.
Susan and Jerrie ZuHouten were appalled at a book on exhibitionism they found in their son Paulo’s book bag. They were outraged when they found out that this book actually came from his elementary school’s library.
When interviewed, Susan had this to say. “I can’t believe [...]

Picasso and Pinchy both wanted it this way.

Oh dear! They’ve sent a hit man after Star-Nosed Mole!
This is actually somewhat of a group feature, but we don’t have a way to post those yet really, so here it is:

After installing the keyboard/mouse emulator for the DDR pad, I opened up “mspaint.exe” and started doodling (that mess on the [...]

Don’t touch me there.
Originally, I planned to do a long, drawn out, expositionary feature on Jux’s adventures in PA this spring break. Then I suddenly realized that that sort of thing was mostly interesting only to us, except for a few stories. So, instead of a huge series of features on vaguely interesting events (to [...]

This petition is made of lye.
Far too often, we humans focus on the negative things in life. We spend so much time hating things that we don’t have any time to like things anymore. This website is a prime example. There’s so very much bitter, dry, sarcastic humor here. It is a poison. We should [...]

And people are too.
Hello! You have reached the telephone service for the international society of Winston-Spangler! If you would like this in English, press 1. If you would prefer Deutsche, press 2. For Hindi, press 3. If you speak Spanish or French, please hang up now.
1
If you are calling to [...]

You only get one this bad every four years.

In which Picasso does not wet the bed.

What the hell is a fuitad, anyway?
Recently, there have been a series of strange deaths in northern Florida. When I investigated, I found only one thing in common between all the murders. Doing a little research at my local library (don’t you dare call me a hyprocrite…it was all public information), I found more murders [...]

I now officially see no value in the Bush presidency.
A few years ago, I supported Bush. Part of it was because I hated Gore, but he also doing a decent enough job. Now, it’s reached the point where I have never despised the government so much in my entire life. Just thinking about the way [...]

We’re good at public service announcements.

And he just needs to re-align.

That’s right, one a week, for reals.
Now, all of us know that file sharers are in fact heartless gentiles who beat up seals, eat dolphins, ride whales and poke them with things, and do various other things to sea mammals. But did you know that according to the RIAA, they are breaking copyright law ? [...]

And never intended to write.
There’s a corpse in my back yard, He’s looking kinda morose, All forlorn, not that verbose, Almost like he’d just won an Emmy award.
Who must this fellow be, I pondered, While I wandered, And he stopped to take a pee.
Before I [...]

Then Picasso ate her alive.

If you’re very lucky, children, and you pray real hard and eat all of your soup at dinner, there may be another Picasso strip tomorrow.

Only by working together can we accomplish our goal.
From reading this webpage, you surely know that I hate injustice in all its forms. So imagine how I feel over the violation of the sanctity of marriage. Can you believe there are laws in this country which allow two people, of dubious sort, to get married [...]

I’m tired and things look all fuzzy.
Right as we were graduating from high school, Travis and I got into plastic baseball.
It’s a simple game, really. You get one of those giant orange plastic bats, and one of those hollow plastic balls that weigh two ounces. We practiced a bit on my yard, and [...]

We’re more than just school closings!
News Update! We’ve had a lot of responses to our report yesterday on the recent outbreak of Jux Entente member sightings in the metro area; more people called in for this story than ever before, surpassing the numbers for “Is Toothpaste Killing Your Child Slowly?” and “Are Car [...]

Got milk? Unnamed Blob doesn’t!

Names have not been changed, since no one is innocent.
I just had the strangest, funniest computer problem ever that both seems like an old practical joke I would play AND reminds me how shitty IE is. But I digress.
One of the patrons at the library comes up to me and asks why his [...]

I’m mad.
As you may or may not know, there has recently been some debate in my home state of Georgia over removing the term Evolution from our textbooks. Apparently, the head of the state school board feels that the word is controversial, even though the concept should still be taught. The rest of us, who [...]

GHD isn’t recognized by google
Today, February 2nd, is Groundhog Day. This is an amazing holiday whose modern origin is in my current state of residence, good old Pennsylvania. There is a decent resource at www.groundhog.org for those of you who are clueless. The only thing missing is the TRUE origin of the holiday. Around [...]

There will be no singing!
Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m not as suave and cool as I always seem on this website. You want proof of this? Listen to this little story.
It was the second semester of my senior year of high school. I was in economics. It was a pointless class I was [...]

Made in Japan.
It’s strange that in a day where we can cure almost anything with enough potent chemicals and/or strategic part removals, people still feel the need to fall back on “alternative” medicine as an approach. To each their own. In the spirit of this, I have spent years of my life dedicated to creating [...]

Jenny, I got your number. 867-5309. Yeah, that’s right.

Once, upon a time…
My mind wandered.

CrossedReality (4:45:23 AM): I’m a freak of nature.
Hello and welcome back to The Badlands: Archaeology At Sector Zero.
I’m your host, ZENDILLA ZaGRoPHyTe, and today we are going to be looking at some samples straight from the field. Our talented scientists have cultivated some text and image samples that have managed to escape intact. [...]

Yes, this is real.
You know, I’m pretty much going to let this stand on it’s own, so I’ll keep it short. This was recorded back when Travis and I were in 8th grade , and Kenny still lived here. The beeping? Even before South Park was created, we figured out that beeping was pretty fucking [...]

Don’t become what I almost was.
Today I got a very thought provoking email from someone. It said, and I quote, “Still no luck engrailing it?” As soon as I read it, I was floored by the sheer possibilities of what this could mean. There was more to the letter, but I didn’t bother to read [...]

A fair and balanced commentary.
The Mathematics and Linguistic worlds are in turmoil today after it was revealed that Period and Decimal Point, are, in fact, the exact same thing. It seems that the symbol has been leading a double life for years, and no one suspected.
“I don’t understand…we made him happy…Sorry, I’m just [...]

I’m feeling the sea beneath me.
I was after him. It had been centuries, but I could still taste the stink of Bobby, that stupid, stupid Deity, coating my mouth and partying in my lungs. I would find him this time. He wouldn’t escape me forever.
Just then, I saw who I was after. Jimmy [...]

An idea I had eating dinner.

Defeating our auto-capitalizer is hard.
As you all know, Apple has recently come under fire for the fact that the batteries in original iPods die after about 18 months of extremely heavy use, and have to be replaced for $99. Pretty much like any Lithium Ion or Lithium Polymer cell when used extremely heavily. As well, [...]

Sane people everywhere stunned.
In an effort to better combat rampant book piracy, the publishers of America revealed a new copy protection scheme today. Dubbed RiteRead, it coats the page of every book (the technology is expected to more than triple the price of a paperback) and turns opaque when struck with a bright light. This [...]

It’s amazing!
2004 begins with the creation of a new company: Jux Entente Press. A new book publisher, dedicated to producing only the best in new works. In addition to publishing all the upcoming stories from Jux Entente writers, we have an exciting line of third party books planned for the coming year!
[...]

Nothing is more fearsome than the Sea Antigone. Fear its Greekness!
Winner: The Miniature Electric Chair Business Ever since the New Philogian messiah, Phil Phillips, was executed for crimes against the Cheese Growers of America in May, the miniature electric chair business has seen a huge upswing as members of the new faith buy them [...]

#72 in a series.

Happy New Year! We’re all foursies now!