To the people of Earth,

The world revels in chocolate. It is the most delicously exotic flavor we know. It has even been documented to behave as an aphrodisiac. My point is, we can survive without chocolate, but who would want to? You may all be wondering "What is his point? Its not like they are going to do away with chocolate!" You are wrong.

This evening I was shocked an appalled by a speech given by the Empress of our planet. I know that questioning Her word is punishable by death, but I cannot allow this to happen. Natalie Alexia VI, Empress of the planet Earth, has declared a war on chocolate. What is the cause of this nonsense? She recieved a bar of plain chocolate in which She found a peanut. I realize how preposterous this sounds, but the consequences will be felt eternally. She has decreed not only that every last molecule of chocolate be elimnated, but also that all forms of cacao trees be eradicated from our planet.

This is not a war. If we do not rebel against the Empress we shall suffer a fate worse than death. Saving chocolate for the rest of humanity is worth sacrificing our lives. We must do everything we can to prevent this. We must stop this chocolate genocide!

With hope for the future,
Anonymous