It was just a normal day in the life of a lizard. I would crawl around and eat bugs. Sometimes I would eat leaves if there were any around. I left my she-lizard in our home to go out and look for a snack. She was so cute. Anyways, I lizarded my way to this big huge thing. It was kinda reddish, and had a weird pattern of rectangles. I figured there would be some good food up there so I started to climb. I was so right. There were tastey little bugs everywhere. I didn't notice until it was too late. It was a Kitty. It wasn't a normal Kitty, it was a Kitty in Person form. I was scared shitless. I ran for my life. When I was just a baby lizard I saw my mother eaten by a Kitty. Kitties were the scariest thing in the world. Everything went dark. It had its paws around me. What happened next was surprizing. The Kitty started to stroke me. It felt kinda good. Not the good my she-lizard gives me, but good in a different way. I figured there was something wrong, that the Kitty was just torturing me before it ate me. We started moving. The Kitty was carrying me somewhere. Then it set me down in the grass. Was it going to let me live? I didn't care. I started to run. I saw the Kitty picking something up. Everything switched over to slow motion. The Kitty dropped a log. A huge muthafuckin log. I was paralyzed with fear. I can't even describe the sound I made. I felt my lungs compress. I felt my chest compress. I felt my chest rip and my lungs oozing out of the openings. I was dead. Fuck Kitties. I hate them.