Languages spoken: English, German.

Occupation: Devouring knowledge for the purpose of later teaching it to generations of young people paying crazy amounts of money for the right to hear my speak.

Why has my biography suddenly gotten three hundred percent shorter? Because it's hard work keeping this updated all the time. Totally.

Besides, it's not as if there's five tons of bullshit in the news archive describing exactly who I am. Wankers.

I also no longer wear those damned glasses.

I like profanity.

Oooh pretty. Sorry got distracted there for a sec. Hmm...now, what to say about me? Well, I actually haven't known the other members of Jux that long, only for about a year. I met Graeme my first semester of college Fall '01 and then met the others a little while later. I'm a criminal justice major with a concentration in technology and crime and a computer science major, therefore, I'm not graduating college anytime soon. I basically write whenever the mood strikes me. I've actually started quite a few stories, but always get stuck at certain parts and end up abandoning them. I'm probably so into comps because my step-dad works for IBM so I've been around them just about my whole life. I learned how to type almost as soon as I learned how to write. My other passions include gaming, reading, and the very few friends I've made and kept over the years. I play on my PS2 just about any moment I have free time, which, of course, isn't as often as I'd like. The type of games I like to play include, but aren't limited to RPG, FPS, racing (although I refuse to play Nascar of any kind), fighting,...well, the list goes on. The only types of games I don't enjoy are sports games. I hate sports which comes as a shock since I come from two complete sports junkies. I read just about as much as I play video games and my favorite authors include Mercedes Lackey and Dean Koontz. I'll read just about anything though as long as it doesn't insult my intelligence. And all I ask from all the male gamers out there is if you ever play against me, don't take it easy on me cause I'm a girl, alright. Trust me. I can hold my own pretty well and will probably end up kicking your ass. Fun stuff.

Currently missing in action.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m not a particularly eloquent individual. In fact, I am downright awkward. That is the essence of Sam. I say a lot of crap, but do I actually do it? I don’t think so. I work entirely too much, and for what? $550 a month and a high school diploma? I am the epitome of the high school overachiever simply because I do way more than I actually need to do to get where I want to go in life (Take for example that sentence).

I hate 80’s fashion, and I love grunge. I sleep in Woodstock, but I live in Canton. Does that make any sense? I hope so, because everything you hear from me will sound something like that. I have cat named Saffron a.k.a. Saphy a.k.a. Sweetie, who is a right bitch. Oh do I love her. She’s my first cat who I can call my own. She isn’t even a year old yet and she can kick ass! Umm... Let’s give you some stats, eh?

Born: September 23, 1985 in Marietta, Georgia
Christened: Never christened, but my parents put Samantha Michelle Boylan on my birth certificate. Does that mean I’m going to hell? Oh well. (oooh, that rhymed)
Marital Status: Legally single, but attached
Favorite Color: Bleu
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 115 lbs
Vision: -3.75
Eye Color: Bleu
Hair Color: Light brown/Dark blond (Is there a difference?) Anyway, it’s the universal hair color.
Skin Color: light olive
Constitution: Very poor
Dress Size: 4
Shoe Size: Now that’s a bit too personal, don’t you think?

My boyfriend lives in Athens so I have no life here in Canton. Maybe I’ll get one one day. Right now I’m too busy knitting and doing homework. Hmmm...I’m pretty sure Graeme keeps me around as an ego boost. He has ulterior motives. Damn his idleness!

Grammar Nazi (Elliott Hoffman) : One day, he still prays to have enough not laziness to write for the Jux Entente. Until then, he runs Spelling the Vacuum, which is funnier than we'll ever be anyway.
Jakk (Ryan Scott) : Dumbass.
Kelley Bean (Kelley Sosebee) : She calls herself a sexy librarian. We have a lot of those.
Mopy (April Brennan) : She helps others to help herself!!
Ravishing Ruiner (Elizabeth Shade) : She submitted one feature, and will probably never be heard from again.
Seraphim Vampire (Lucas Bertoli) : Youngest. Guest. Author. Ever.
Voltaire (Francois-Marie Arouet) : Inarguably the best writer to ever grace the Jux halls.