July 2, 2002 4:54pm
Today I was born! I'm not sure what I am, really. I know that I'm in a big box filled with comfy styrofoam peanuts. My itinerary says I get to come out of this womb sometime after I arrive in Atlanta. I'm in Dallas now. I've been told that as hot as it is here, it's hotter in Georgia, because everything's wet, or something. I'm not sure, I have to listen to the people in brown talk to find out all of my news. All the packages under me appear to be asleep, so I suppose I should be resting too. I start my journey tomorrow!

July 3, 2002 9:57pm
I woke up almost twelve hours ago. All day packages were getting loaded onto shiny planes and flown to Atlanta. I was sure it would be my time soon. I was wrong. About 8 o'clock I was loaded, all alone, onto an ugly truck with no doors. How come everyone else gets to fly and I don't? This isn't fair. Us boxes, we have no rights. And it's hot in here. At least the peanuts are cozy.

July 4, 2002 12:25pm
My truck arrived in Mesquite, Texas last night. But we're not going anywhere else until tomorrow. Apparently, there's some sort of holiday today. Does this mean I have to get punished? I'm not owned by the British either! In my boredom I started talking to the other boxes around me, but they're all filled with Gideon bibles and Colgate. At first I thought I'd be placed with some weird sort of hotel delivery, but it turns out they're all going to some guy in Savannah. An entire truckload of Colgate and bibles. These damned peanuts are chafing me.

July 5, 2002 11:00pm
Well, I've made it to New Orleans, now. This place smells like trash and vomit. We gained two new packages, irritating boxes filled with uppity computer components. I've found out that while I'll be reaching Atlanta tomorrow, I'm going to have to sit in the heat with these bastards until Monday, when we're split up for delivery. Getting shipped on a holiday weekend really fucking sucks. I ate a styrofoam peanut today. They're not very tasty, and I have no stomach, but I was just that angry with these damned Colgate boxes. Brusha-brusha-brusha...GAH!

July 6, 2002 5:57pm
I'm in Atlanta. It's hot as hell. I can feel the moisture dripping down the sides of my plastic wrapping. The Colgate finally shut up, but I think it's dead. The computer yuppies are complaining that they're not supposed to be stored above a certain temperature, but fuck em. If anyone loved them, they would have shipped them via air, wouldn't they?

July 7, 2002 2:20pm
Contemplating suicide.

July 8, 2002 3:45pm
Yay. I am delivered. Now how long am I going to have to sit on this shitty porch before someone wakes up and brings me inside? Hello! You ordered me! You're expecting me! GET ME NOW!!!