I'm obsessed with love. I'm girl crazy, but in a very strange way. I'm not sexual at all. I don't want sex. I want commitment. I want someone to call and lavish attention upon, someone to waste my money on and to sit next to me at movies. Someone to get married to and have the perfect family. Yeah, I'm definitely a bit cracked. Anyway, since I'm currently single, I don't really have any of the above. This sucks. I could have written a piece on just why I'm single, but instead, I thought I would describe my perfect woman, and reveal who is the #1 consideration at the bottom. Enjoy the list of factors that make up the ultimate female.

1. She needs to be morally strong. What do I mean by this? Well, I'm not looking for strict christian ethics or anything, but I would like to have someone who understands the basic differences between right and wrong. I don't even have to agree with everything she believes in, just so long as she has some sort of moral code that she won't compromise.
2. She has to be strong in her beliefs. Again, it doesn't really matter whether or not I believe in them, so long as she believes in something. I don't take well to apathetic people. She could worship toaster ovens as our mechanical messiahs for all I care, so long as she actually believes in it. I can be completely at odds in my beliefs with someone, but at the same time, I'm always slightly disappointed when they back down from them.
3. She has to be open minded. This may seem to contradict the above, but it really goes hand-in-hand. While it's important to have beliefs and stand by them, it's equally important to realize that you could, in fact, but completely wrong. I can't stand close minded people, and I could never date one of them. Being open minded means being willing to lose an argument if you know you're on the wrong side, and being willing to revise your own personal beliefs. Standing by something just because you've always believed it, or because it's what your parents believed in, or for any other superficial reason isn't good enough. I'm going to go ahead and lump in with being open minded the ability to admit your mistakes. If you can't admit when you're wrong, you'll never learn anything. It's best to not get upset when this happens, and just move on. No one is perfect, after all.
4. She can't be stupid. I wanted to say "she needs to be intelligent" there, but that's not really what fits best. I don't need someone as smart as I am, I just need someone who isn't an utter moron. I don't mix well with people in that end of the IQ spectrum, so I don't think I could date one very successfully either. One of my ex-girlfriends pushed the limit too much, I think. A little logic and reason is all I require here.
5. She must be willing to learn. Oh, this is a biggie. My perfect woman needs to always want to know more about things. It always depresses me when someone doesn't care about something. My mother is like this, she could care less about history, physics, etc. She just wants to float through life. I can't date someone who's like that. I need someone who always wants to know why. I'm like that, and I tend to get on the nerves of people who aren't when I go off on tangents about things, so in the end it's really better for both of us is she has the same thirst for knowledge and experience that I have. Plus, it's just nice to have someone understand why half of person library is made up of historical non-fiction, like Costain's History of the Plantagenets.
6. She simply cannot obsess over her appearance. First of all, I hate make-up, I think it makes girls look like they have plastic skin. Appearance is probably the least important factor to me. I mean, it's nice when a girl is physically attractive, and when she gets dressed up, but at the end of the day, there a few dozen things more important to me. Hell, whether or not she likes the Beatles is more important to me than appearance.
7. Artistic, please. My perfect woman needs an artistic outlet of some kind. I'm a writer, for example. She could write, she could paint, she could be a musician, anything. Creative people are great, and artists are some of the most creative of all.
8. She needs to like novels. If for no other reason than I write them.

So, as you can see, these are some rather rigorous requirements. Only a handful of girls I know in real life have ever passed them with any success. So who is my true perfect woman? Well, I thought about this for some time. Obviously, it's no one I know in real life. In fact, no one passes the test at the moment. Not even close. So, I had to open the ranks to fictional characters and celebrities. And so, the perfect woman is...Lisa Simpson.