Man, has this week been shit. So I'm doing this feature just
to rant about it. I realize that Jux has had some updating problems lately,
and more than likely you've seen me talk about it in the news section of
the site. I don't plan to retread too much. What I do plan to do is just
ramble about a lot of things I haven't had a chance to. Sure, I had to work
too much while badly sick. But I also made quite a bit of money doing it,
and because of my illness they realized the possible ramifications had I
been forced to go home while ill. This means that one of those weekends in
never going to appear again. See? You can fix things even while not meaning
to. Work and disease being the first two things that affected this page's
update schedule, the third was that I had four exams, one essay, and one
quiz over the course of the four school days of the week. I hacked my way
through all but one of those running a fever that was damn near debilitating.
The good news from that one is that I still managed to, somehow, pull damn
near perfect scores on them. So, there you go. Yeah, there were a few other
things you no doubt know about, like my car trouble which has yet to be resolved,
but that was enough to shoot this site to Hell. To answer one person's question,
yes, I am currently the only person working on this site. I'm not sure why.
I've got a few ideas about how to fix that that I plan to put in motion as
soon as I have a few free moments. As it stands, I'm still not quite back
to normal. There are still some outstanding favours I owe to people, such
as the Spelling the Vacuum website redesign. And there's an unresolved issue
or two in my "real" life that need to be handled soon. If you're lucky, none
of this will affect the operation of the Jux Entente. As it stands though,
until I can get a larger stable of writers, don't be surprised if this site
dips a bit in its daily update schedule. There's only so much Graeme to go
around, to quote some female.
I'm switching gears now. I love the news. I love the
news because it makes me angry, or ecstatic. One of these days I'm going
to have my own segment of CNN. There will be two bookcases behind me that
contain both the Oxford English Dictionary [full version], and the full edition
of the Encyclopedia Brittanica. What I will do in this show is scream at
random guests and news stories, either quoting from these large books or
just hurling them at them. Courtney
Love would likely get one of the the OED volumes square between the eyes.
I might just stab the members
of the RIAA on live TV. Not so much because they are legally wrong, but
because they act like children and generally disgrace everyone who
walks on the planet. On the other hand, some
people would get cookies baked for them live. Delicious, crumbly
morsels of sweet goodness.
Finally, as you all know I purchased five games in about
a week and a half. Here's the run down. I've not opened Harmony of Dissonance
yet. Kingdom Hearts is one of the best Square games ever. The ending, especially,
made me dance like a happy pilgrim. I'm putting the followed text in red,
because it is a major spoiler. You have been officially warned about
a spoiler. Do not blame me if you read the spoiler. Anyway, after awhile you just get used to the whole Disney/Square
thing. Donald and Goofy following you around becomes just plain normal. So,
aside from how good the ending is on it's own merits [I want five thousand
daughters just like Kairi!], one part is absolutely astounding. The final
areas of the game are entirely Square. You're in a world with Square art
design, fighting Square villains and bosses, with Square writing, Square
themes, Square music, Square everything. If it wasn't for Donal and Goofy,
you'd probably forget Disney was involved at all. And then you beat the final
boss. As they struggle to close the door to Kingdom Hearts, they just can't
do it. The heartless are going to pour through. Even with Riku tugging with
all his might on the other side, they can barely budge it. Suddenly, out
of no where inside the doorway, King Mickey, Mickey fucking Mouse, appears
holding the other key blade. When you hear that voice cheering you
on as Mickey Mouse helps you, it all slams home again. It was brilliantly
hilarious. Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis started
as a GBA game I could play at school to occupy myself before classes started.
It has now spilled over into home play. It's just that good. I can't believe
I've not beat it yet. Damn long game. Sonic Advance, the impulse buy that
started this entire otherwise-planned cycle, hasn't gotten as much play.
That's because it's a Sonic game. You play it awhile, you put it down, you
move on. It's just like the old 16-bit games like that. Something that's
fun to play almost any time, but you never really get that addicted urge
to play it. Finally, Star Fox Adventures I've just started on. It's pretty
good. It's not as much sheer entertainment as, say, Kingdom Hearts, but the
game is achingly beautiful. I wish I could see it in progressive scan.
Funny feature tomorrow, I promise.