My girlfriend, Sara, always says "The bigger the boys, the bigger the toys." Though she teases me, she's right. Ever since I was a wee lad, I've been obsessed with toys--not G.I. Joes, Army Men, Legos (they're still cool though), or Power Wheels (wait...I really, really, really wanted one of those, nevermind :P), but toys that did something. I took everything apart, examined the insides, found out how they worked, and combined them with the insides of other things. Anything was fair game. I did have my causalties though...I still feel guilty about accidentally muting my beloved talking A.L.F. doll (don't you dare knock A.L.F., just because he's forced to peddle 10-10-220 nowadays doesn't mean he has sold out--he prolly has kids to feed you know--strange, wrinkled, and furry kids, but I digress), you see, it had a voicebox that you pressed and he said things like "Here kitty, kitty, kitty..." and "Hey, where's the fridge?!" and I took it apart and saw it used a tiny record to make the noises. I loaded it up on the 45 player and, well... it just didn't work out, *sniff*.

Basically, my main sweet spot is gadgetry. Currently, my computer satisfies most of my cravings for things that go bleep in the night, but my eyes are wandering. If you look around my room, you'll see all sorts of impulse-bought gadgets that I've acquired over the years. These include:

1. One of those things where you put your hand on it and the liquid bubbles.
2. A curled glass plasma thingy...think of a lightning globe, but blue, and in the shape of a ram's horn, :P.
3. A high resolution black and white surveilance camera. (I have some plans for this baby!)
4. A gold-colored 'Battle Scarab'--he needs no explanation; you will f34r his hypnotic dance mode.
5. A home made telephone from random parts.
6. Strobe light.
7. TI-89 calculator...I can play 8-level greyscale assembly games on that thing, mmmmm.
8. Olympus variable speed mini-cassette recorder
9. (2) Two-watt 22 channel w/38 privacy subchannel 5-mile range walkie talkies. (they need special FCC licensing :D)
10. A blowgun.
11. Various locks and a retractable lockpick.
12. Arm-mounted slingshot.
13. Handheld dual-trunking 1000-channel audio frequency scanner (up to 1.3ghz).
14. 2500F butane lighter (I don't smoke, I just like fire.)
15. A 3x magnification zero-lux night-vision scope with russian-made optics and infrared illuminator (can you tell I'm into spy-gadgetry yet?)
16. Oh yea, and I own a Sonicare toothbrush. At 31,000 brush strokes a minute, my teeth get clean.

So as you can see, I'm a big nerd when it comes to toys. I recently saw the latest Sony Clie PDA at Best Buy, and the drool has yet to dry. I'd like to say it's just a fascination and not a full-out addiction, but then my pants would spontaneously combust, and I do hate it when they do that. I love entrancing gadgetry, and I don't think I will ever stop. While other addictions leave people with collapsed veins or scarred livers and minds, mine leaves me with a horde of technical droolery. I don't think I'll be seeking rehab anytime soon :P.