Silent Hill "Heroes" Compared

This took me four hours, believe it or not.

Jux has been around long enough for two Silent Hill games to hit the streets, and each time that happpens, you are well aware that I disappear. When I got Kenny addicted to the games…he disappeared. That’s because Silent Hill is the single greatest videogame series ever. Coming from a long-time Final Fantasy junkie, that says a lot. So, as I gently drift down from my SH4 addiction, I thought I’d examine something about Silent Hill for a feature, since they only time they’ve really been mentioned other than the news page is in the Contest of Champions , where Maria got her ass handed to her by Claire Redfield.

In retrospect, I probably should have fielded someone better (although less funny) to represent the Silent Hill series in the CoC. So, I’m going to do this feature, examining who among the Silent Hill heroes is the most powerful. Whoever wins, will get to represent the series in the next Contest of Champions (probably facing Claire again, unless Leon comes back as a super-badass in Resident Evil 4). I’m going to examine them all in terms of melee weapons, firearms, and special abilities, which are anything that happens after you beat the game the first time, as well as anything that doesn’t fit into the other categories.

For the rankings, I’ve used Harry Mason from the first game as a median, and everyone else is going to be ranked by the number of standard deviations from Harry’s abilities. So if James is one “step” below Harry as far as power goes, he gets ranked a -1, whereas Henry could be one step above Harry, which would get him ranked a +1. Harry will always be ranked a 0, since he’s the standard. That’s enough explanation, now. Let’s get on with it.

Oh, there will be spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Melee Weapons

Harry Mason
First, we need to cut Harry some slack. Not only is he the oldest, by far, of the Silent Hill characters, but he’s also stuck in the part of town that has a surplus of handgun ammunition. Whatever the reason may be, Harry’s skills with melee weapons leave a lot to be desired. He swings the knife around as if he’s drunk, and he doesn’t handle the rest of the weapons in any less drunk of a way. It’s obvious that he’s never had any experience dealing with them before. He even sucks with the axe. How hard is it to kill someone, even the remnant ghost of a child, with an axe? His hammer isn’t completely useless, though, so I guess that’s a plus. But really, even though he’s a piss-poor shot, Harry is all about ranged weapons.
Arsenal: Kitchen knife, steel pipe, hammer, axe.
Score: 0

James Sunderland
James is worse than Harry for only one reason: he has fewer weapons available to him. If someone would toss James an axe he’d probably be okay. Alas, the best weapon available to him is the steel pipe, which he knows how to use with a decent amount of proficiency. Certainly more than poor Harry. Of course, he also tries to stab (not thrust, like Heather) things with it, proving two things: James is stupid, and the Silent Hill characters are still not Rambo. Then there’s the board-with-nails-in-it, which is only cool if you’re a Simpsons fan. Sadly, James never invents the bigger board with bigger nails. Finally, there’s the massive pyramid head sword, which rocks…if you ever get a chance to swing it. Which you won’t, against any competent enemy. So, despite the fact that he can use what he has far better than old Harry, James’ selection of melee weapons leaves him in the cold.
Arsenal: Wooden plank, steel pipe, great knife.
Score: -1

Heather Mason
Maybe it’s because she’s young, maybe it’s because her dad taught her a few things (when he bothered to learn them), or maybe it’s because she’s got an unborn demon god growing inside of her, but Heather kicks ass with melee weapons. Her knife sucks, as usual, but she could smack James around all day with a steel pipe. She also has this really big maul, which she can barely use, since it weighs as much as she does, making it fairly useless unless you want to put some major hurt on a fallen fat bastard. Then there’s her next to worthless stun gun, which makes the knife look like the best weapon ever. But where Heather really shines is when she picks up her katana. Not only is this weapon devastating as far as damage goes, Heather is good with it. Watching her school a nurse holding a revolver by stabbing her in the gut and then slicing her down is pure joy. She never needs to pick up a gun.
Arsenal: Knife, steel pipe, maul, katana, stun gun.
Score: +2

Henry Townshend
I don’t know what Henry actually does in his spare time, but he certainly knows how to use melee weapons. He takes a different approach than Heather. Whereas Heather has apparently spent some time practicing with a katana at home, Henry just knows how to hit things really, really hard. He’s also a resourceful bastard. I’ve always wanted a game where almost anything could be used as a weapon, and Silent Hill 4 is almost too close for comfort. Everything this man touches, he uses to kill things. Golf clubs, for example. An aluminum baseball bat, making Primus proud. How about bug spray, which is almost useless except for the cool sound female spirits make when you use it on them? A paper-cutting knife, showing that Henry could just be trained by Osama bin Laden? A weapon lovingly called the “pickaxe of despair”, which is SH4’s tribute to the great knife and maul of the previous two games, only slightly more useful. Henry spins like a ballerina when you charge it up. Henry gets his own version of the steel pipe, which seems to hurt less than those used by his predecessors, but he swings it with a fury never before seen. My personal favorite, the rusty axe, can be used in a devastating running charge that sends two headed hand-walking babies flying and gives them lockjaw at the same time! Maybe you want to pretend you’re having a bar fight with the evil burping undead nurse, so you hit her with the wine bottle from your fridge. Then you smack her with your torch. Henry also borrows Heather’s stun gun, and proves once again that it’s useless. Finally, at least for the weapons wielded by Henry and not his gal pal Eileen, there’s the spade, which can either be used as an awesome weapon in some hick-style fighting, or to bury the bodies of the men named Mudd you beat to death with your baseball bat. Henry gets mad points just for being versatile. Nothing quite equals Heather’s katana, though.
Arsenal: Golf clubs (driver, putter, pitching wedge, 3 wood, 4 iron, 5 iron, 6 iron, 9 iron), aluminum baseball bat, bugspray, paper-cutting knife, pickaxe of despair, rusty axe, spade, steel pipe, stun gun, torch, wine bottle.
Score: +3

Firearms

Harry Mason
Harry is a horrible shot. Let’s get that out of the way, shall we? He’s a worse shot than James, he’s a worse shot than his own friggin daughter, and compared to Henry, he might as well be shooting his own foot. But, firearms are Harry’s best attribute in the original Silent Hill game. That’s because, as bad as he is with a gun, he’s worse with melee weapons. He’s aided by a few things. First, the inhabitants of the northern districts of Silent Hill were obviously pistol enthusiasts, because there are bullets everywhere. It’s as close to an unlimited ammunition weapon you can get without actually picking up an unlimited ammunition weapon. Second, Harry is smart enough to realize that you don’t have to AIM while using a shotgun, and thus can shuck and jive quite successfully while holding it. Then there’s the hunting rifle, which is way too powerful for poor Harry, but does quite a bit of damage.
Arsenal: Handgu
n, shotgun, hunting rifle.
Score: 0

James Sunderland
James’ weapon selection is more or less identical to Harry’s. James’ hunting rifle, though, is far more accurate. However, it fires about one round a year, and takes forever to aim. James’ shotgun also seems (and this is purely subjective) to be less effective against single enemies. Overall, James and Harry are more or less identical in their firearms ability.
Arsenal: Handgun, shotgun, hunting rifle.
Score: 0

Heather Mason
Heather hardly ever has to use her guns. But that doesn’t mean she’s bad with them, oh no. Her pistol has better range than her father’s or the one used by James’, and even though her shots still sometimes go wide, she’s a hell of a lot better marksman than they ever were. She can also use a silencer on hers, which is sorta neat. Her shotgun kicks ass as well. It seems to be almost as powerful as the hunting rifle that James’ and Harry insisted on carrying around. Well, maybe not, but it certainly knocks bosses on their ass. And to wrap up her gun selection, Heather has one last trick up her sleeve: the sub machine gun. Maybe, just maybe, the hunting rifles would be more damaging…if anyone in this feature was capable of aiming worth a damn while under pressure. James’ doesn’t count, since he has to sit down and have a cup of tea before he gets ready to fire. Heather isn’t a much better shot than her father or Mr. Sunderland, but she doesn’t have to be. She has a freaking submachine gun. She just pulls the trigger and waves it around a bit, and everything dies. Merry Christmas!
Arsenal: Handgun, shotgun, submachine gun.
Score: +1

Henry Townshend
On the one hand, Henry seems to be a pretty good shot compared to Harry and James’, and he knows how to squeeze off rounds in his pistol mad-fast.

On the other hand, his pistol is weak, the revolver better but certainly no shotgun or rifle, and Henry’s mother told him his penis would become an innie if he carried too much ammunition with him at any given moment. So whatever abilities he has as far as using a gun goes, are balanced out by the fact he doesn’t actually have a decent one to use. Pity.
Arsenal: Handgun, revolver.
Score: -2

Special Abilities

Harry Mason
Harry has a lot of special weapons. Ignore them. His chainsaw is cool, the hyperblaster doesn’t suck, but that’s about all that could be said. The rock drill looks impressive, and does a lot of damage, but is hard to use since he has to stand still to hit anything with it. As for the katana…Harry is a total klutz with a steel pipe , and you expect him to be able to hit something with a katana? His daughter puts on a clinic with the thing, but Harry looks like a dumbass.

So, why does Harry 0wnz0r when it comes to special abilities? Because of the UFO endings. Harry and the aliens are good pals. Not only does he get the better of James and kidnap him, he totally burns Silent Hill to the ground when Claudia starts messing with his daughter. No other special ability compares to having your very own alien friends with badass UFOs.
Arsenal: Chainsaw, rock drill, katana, hyperblaster, UFO strike force.
Score: 0

James Sunderland
James gets the same slow, but powerful, chainsaw as Harry. He also gets an aerosol can of “Hyper Spray” which can freeze enemies in place. James can also summon the dark god Samael, but anyone can do that if they’re as dumb as James, which they aren’t.
Arsenal: Chainsaw, hyper spray.
Score: -3

Heather Mason
She may not be able to top her father’s ability to lay waste to entire cities from his orbital headquarters, but when it comes to sheer numbers of abilities, as well as coolness, Heather’s got it covered. Even without second-run-through-trickery, Heather has two things over James’ and Harry: she can run like the wind, or she can wear her bullet proof vest. That’s right, she’s the only character smart enough (or maybe lucky enough) to pick up armor. While she’s wearing it, Heather can run as fast as James’ and Harry. When she takes the armor off, Heather runs like the freakin’ wind, proving that when it comes to athletic ability, it pays to be the 17-year-old daughter of a middle-aged writer, and not the middle-aged writer himself.

What happens when you add in the bonus stuff is just mind blowing. Heather adds a flamethrower with unlimited fuel and an unlimited submachine gun to her firearm arsenal. She also gets a “beam” saber, which is slightly more powerful than her katana, but more annoying to use. Last, but not least, she gets to tap her internal power to form…Heather beams! And, if she puts on the transform costume, these become…sexy beams! She’s the only character in Silent Hill history able to put the smack down without picking up a weapon. In fact, these beams are so cool, I had to find some movies just to show you people out there who have never played/seen them. Courtesy of these guys , I present to you the Heather beams , the transform sequence , and the sexy beams themselves.

To conclude, Heather is a badass.
Arsenal: Beam saber, flamethrower, unlimited submachine gun, heather beams, sexy beams, bulletproof vest, athletic ability.
Score: -1

Henry Townshend
Henry gets a chainsaw.

Henry cries in his pillow at night.
Arsenal: Chainsaw.
Score: -4

Conclusion

So, where does this leave us? Well, with some rankings, that’s what. Who will represent the Silent Hill series if and when another Contest of Champions is run? Let’s look at the scores.

James Sunderland = -4